[This is an actual science quiz from a private Christian school in S.C.]
South Carolina Christian School,
[5/2/2013 3:20:41 AM]
Fundie Index: 124
Hey, look! Brainwashed children! You've got all the ethics of a particularly corny supervillain.
Oh, and by the way:
"Under the lotus plants it lies, hidden among the reeds in the marsh. The lotuses conceal it in their shadow; the poplars by the stream surround it."
- Job 40: 21 - 22
If #6 is correct, that's either a cartoonishly tiny dinosaur, or some truly gigantic fuckin' lotuses. Either way, can I have one? (Also, I encourage everyone reading this to try to work the phrase "gigantic fuckin' lotuses" into their next casual conversation. It'll be fun! You can use "freakin'" instead if profanity would be problematic.)
Edit: Well it looks like they do believe in cartoonishly tiny dinosaurs, at least according to #15.
5/2/2013 3:24:47 AM
You want fries with that?
5/2/2013 3:29:48 AM
Yeah, but the ebil ebil evolutionists are the ones indoctrinating children.
PS: Any kid from that school will fail horribly in college, if they even get it.
5/2/2013 3:49:50 AM
Phillip-George(c)2013 - ask a fundie and learn
God bless them. I hope they teach the difficult contents well.
[actually UHM homeschooled have a high college entrance rate and they learn to play college politics]
twenty second on google
5/2/2013 3:50:18 AM
And are we surprised that the rest of the civilized world is kicking the US's ass in science? Gee, Mr. Wizard, I wonder why THAT could be...
5/2/2013 3:51:33 AM
Okay, now I'm just pissed off.
They are ruining these kids' lives and dressing it up as a legitimate lesson plan. A number of individual
are bigger than sheep, a creature with a mouthful of teeth optimized for tearing flesh not only eats meat but is rarely able to digest plant matter, and if "were you there?" is a valid argument for documented evidence then every motherfucking page of scripture is subject to the same infantile badgering,
espescially the bits no human is supposed to have witnessed, let alone the writers of the scripture.
5/2/2013 3:51:40 AM
I'd like to point out two things: Imprimis, the school in discussion is not a homeschooling institution. Secundus, even if it were, homeschooling is not magic. If the curriculum sucks, homeschooling will produce a sucker.
5/2/2013 4:15:16 AM
This test had a lot of us shouting Poe or at least assuming it was a Sunday school or something but no, it turned out to be a real test from a real school.
I weep for for these children's minds.
5/2/2013 4:17:22 AM
Phillip-George(c)2013 - just passing
@Passerby and Mr Hetzy...
Skepticism can certainly be rational.
But to ignore the weight of anomalous data is to do self and science a great disservice.
At least know what material we are bringing to the table
5/2/2013 4:20:25 AM
A horse named Eric
Fundies, If you want to know why people laugh at you, why FSTDT exists, this is why.
What really makes me angry is that private schools can get away with teaching bullshit, that you can turn your children into complete idiots under the guise of "freedom of religion".
5/2/2013 4:26:29 AM
@Phillip-George: Please read what I write: "Any kid from
5/2/2013 4:36:10 AM
Meanwhile in France, "private schools" just means you can give religious lessons along with the OFFICIAL program (and even then it's barely more than a "social/historical approach", laicité oblige)
If you don't your "teachers" are not paid by the government and all graduations of your "school" are worthless
I fear for all the scientists who work out here in the US. Sure you get financed decently (at least until the Republicans take over). But it is really worth the price with "Doctors" who could get outsmarted by a college student yet get a job since they're willing to write complete bullshit for a few bucks ?
5/2/2013 4:43:11 AM
... and the rest of the world cheered on as [certain segments of] American education takes yet another step backward.
5/2/2013 4:47:39 AM
Next in physics class we will learn how the Enterprise goes faster than light.
5/2/2013 5:00:05 AM
Filin De Blanc
But remember, it's public schools that brainwash children. Only the government indoctrinates. Private organizations and people would never do such things.
5/2/2013 5:08:56 AM
And Fred Flintstone was Adam and Eve's great grandson!
5/2/2013 5:11:24 AM
Wow. Just wow. Shit like this really does make me wish, as a brief fantasy, that I could just punch the Randroids in the face, have private schools and homeschooling outlawed, and force all parents to send their kids to public schools at gunpoint.
Purely by chance, just before reading this, I was on some webshite (not a fundamentalist Christian one; an MRA/PUA one) with an article banging on about how the public school system is making children stupid. Then, I read this, and it made me want to print it out, scrunch it into a ball and shove it down the webshite's author's throat.
(I repeat: BRIEF FANTASY. Of course I don't fucking actually mean this.)
5/2/2013 5:19:10 AM
Tim of Whipping
Religious private schools are definitely not all like this. Religious Education classes I went to certainly wouldn't have such awful questions. It was more like a literature class, really, and kept strictly out of the sciences.
I'm sure there'll be some children that see past this. I can only hope they don't get much flak from other students or teachers if they express doubts.
5/2/2013 5:33:56 AM
And I thought public schools were dumbing down children... this school is literally teaching willful ignorance.
5/2/2013 5:43:52 AM
5/2/2013 6:29:58 AM
Raised by Horses
"Well, you can stay, but I'm leaving."
5/2/2013 6:31:37 AM
I feel sad for the child. All this time s/he is being told that s/he is great at science. It doesn't matter if this child grows up to be a plumber or electrician (because none of those require knowledge of biology or cosmology) but what if the child is inspired by his/her good grades to become a biologist or physicist? He'll be absolutely crushed when he finds out that real scientists find this childish BS to be, well, childish BS. S/he's going to be extremely unprepared for the disappointment s/he is going to experience when s/he can't find any job in a scientific field. Especially since the last response (the "were you there" argument) is completely antithetical to science which, like our court system, relies on evidence to determine past events.
if "were you there?" is a valid argument for documented evidence then every motherfucking page of scripture is subject to the same infantile badgering, espescially the bits no human is supposed to have witnessed, let alone the writers of the scripture
And if "were you there" was a valid argument that'd be the only defense a criminal would need. Why hire an expensive defense lawyer when you can simply commit all of your crimes JUUUUUUST out of the public eye? Even if a criminal is standing next to a dead body with blood all over his hands, all he'd have to do is say "were you there?" and if nobody was then he's free to go by creationist logic.
5/2/2013 6:48:52 AM
Ha ha haaaa! That brings back memories. I'm a former christian (now atheist) myself. I went to a christian school that gave tests like these. I can tell you its not poe. Christian schools DO teach like this and its sad. I managed to see the reality of the world and left the "christian bubble" as I call it. Most christian kids however do not. Many of my former schoolmates have grown to become ignorant fundies just like their parents. Teaching their children the very same nonsence. An endless cycle of stupidity.
5/2/2013 6:57:01 AM
I think we've just found out where fundies learn their fondness for using cap letters. Check out answers to 11 and 12.
5/2/2013 7:03:28 AM
...meanwhile, China closes the technology gap; Gene Therapy, Supercomputers (the Tianhe 1-A; mayhaps
Computing...?!), Cyberwarfare, the J-20, CNSA's ambitions to land
on the Moon...!
Nope, no religion hamstringing their unlimited pool of pure educated talent streaming out of their colleges & universities, nosiree.
In Soviet China God worships
...meanwhile, little Timmy - with high hopes of great promotion* - said 'Would you like fries with that?'
*- Mayhaps he'll become 2nd assistant Burger-flipper in the next ten years...?!
5/2/2013 7:07:48 AM