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Quote# 94696

I'm a born-again Christian and I've always said that God wants us to play Dungeons & Dragons (and other roleplaying games).

Furthermore, those who claim that "unicorn" is a mistranslation of "rhinoceros," or that "dragon" is a mistranslation of "crocodile," are as mistaken as those who claim that "day" in Genesis is a mistranslation of "time period." Obviously we need to take the King James Version literally (in the simplest and most obvious sense); if Shakespearean English was good enough for Christ Himself to speak, then it is good enough for the rest of us.


John Fast, The Atlantic Wire 80 Comments [6/3/2013 2:11:22 PM]
Fundie Index: 45
Submitted By: Frostythesnowman
WTF?! || meh
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"if Shakespearean English was good enough for Christ Himself to speak, then it is good enough for the rest of us. "

says it all really.

6/3/2013 2:14:32 PM

checkmate

if Shakespearean English was good enough for Christ Himself to speak

I'm going to do something that I've never done before on this site, simply because I usually doubt it: I'm, calling poe.

That last sentence is too much of a give away.

Oh, and the KJV is *not* Shakespearean English.

6/3/2013 2:15:27 PM

Da Rat Bastid

Dare I hope that this is a Poe? (headdesk)

6/3/2013 2:15:35 PM

Ironchew

First and last sentences scream Poe. RPGs and works of fantasy in general never fail to stir fundies into a frenzy.

6/3/2013 2:23:31 PM

sandchigger

Clearly a Poe.

6/3/2013 2:24:20 PM

Dr. Shrinker

This poe shall live in infamy

6/3/2013 2:34:22 PM

cdcdrr

Except that Jesus probably spoke either Aramaic or Koine Greek. The only people in england at that time spoke either Roman or Gaelic.

6/3/2013 2:40:09 PM

Mothman

How are these two ideas related?

6/3/2013 2:54:00 PM

Tolpuddle Martyr

Pictured.



The almighty's intended staple diet, apparently.

6/3/2013 2:54:30 PM

anevilmeme

Rather obvious Poe.

6/3/2013 3:04:45 PM

emau99

if Shakespearean English was good enough for Christ Himself to speak...

This is one of the single most utterly stupid things I've ever read on this site.

6/3/2013 3:05:59 PM

Qazamir McSmarty Britches

This has got to be a poe.

6/3/2013 3:15:51 PM

Phillip-George(c)2013

Quite right John Fast,

Jesus is Holy Spirit is God.

Everyone knows He said, He would be with us in even us.

He speaks not only Elizabethan and King James English but every language dialect there ever has been and ever will be, including binary machine code.

6/3/2013 3:41:56 PM

Rabbit of Caerbannog

What? Just...what?

...that's like saying Julius Caesar spoke in ebonics...I mean, there's stupid and then there's beyond stupid...and then there's THIS!

6/3/2013 3:50:36 PM

Xotan

This must be a POE.

Either that or John Fast is rather slow on the learning. Jesus speaking late Tudor (although Jacobean, the language was archaic) English indeed! Actually it is quite funny, considering the Anglo-Saxons hadn't come to England in Jesus's day, and wouldn't come for another 500 years.

Homeskooled?

@cdc

Actually, not Gaelic. That was confined to Ireland in Jesus's time. They would have spoken a form of Brythonic - ancestor of modern Welsh, Cornish and Breton. Although the Celtic Brythonic and Goidelic branches would have been much closer then than they are now.

6/3/2013 3:56:00 PM

John

Obviously we need to take the King James Version literally

Baloney. The KJV translators themselves acknowledged in the preface (which most fundies have never read, its being left out of many modern printings) that there were words, including re'em (translated as "unicorn" in the KJV), tanniyn (translated as "dragon") and leviathan and behemoth (left in their original Hebrew, untranslated) that, having appeared nowhere except in the Hebrew scripture, had no known translation. Here's what they said:

"There be many words in the Scriptures, which be never found there but once, (having neither brother or neighbor, as the Hebrews speak) so that we cannot be holpen by conference of places. Again, there be many rare names of certain birds, beasts and precious stones, etc. concerning the Hebrews themselves are so divided among themselves for judgment, that they may seem to have defined this or that, rather because they would say something, than because they were sure of that which they said, as S. Jerome somewhere saith of the Septuagint. Now in such a case, doth not a margin do well to admonish the Reader to seek further, and not to conclude or dogmatize upon this or that peremptorily?" *

[size=9]* For "behemoth", the translators add as a marginal note "or an Elephant, as some thinke"; for "leviathan", they say "that is, a Whale or a whirlepoole". "Unicorn" was simply translated from the Latin "monoceros" ("one horn") in the old Septuagint. The KJV translators even fudged the translation of "his horns are like the horns of a unicorn (singular)" to read "his horns are like the horns of unicorns (plural)"[/size]

6/3/2013 4:17:28 PM

SpukiKitty

John Fast also wrote The Tell-Tale Heart, Hop-Frog, The Cask Of Amontillado, The Raven, The Masque Of Red Death, The Black Cat, The Pit & The Pendulum......

6/3/2013 4:17:44 PM

Hasan Prishtina

Now I've got the image of Jesus in ruff, doublet, hose and codpiece running through my mind.

Out, dunghill! (King John Act 4, Scene 3)

6/3/2013 4:18:39 PM

Blarghonius

Why is everyone a cleric or paladin? This sucks.

6/3/2013 4:26:31 PM

checkmate

@John

"There be many words in the Scriptures, which be never found there but once, (having neither brother or neighbor, as the Hebrews speak)

Also known as "hapax legomena" (pl.).

6/3/2013 4:52:33 PM

Ebon

Gotta be a Poe.

6/3/2013 4:59:18 PM

farpadokly

Surely a joke.

6/3/2013 5:13:55 PM



Obvious poe is obvious.

6/3/2013 5:41:19 PM



Can you say....

POE?

6/3/2013 5:44:45 PM

dp

poe, obviously. or is that a contradiction?

6/3/2013 5:54:27 PM
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