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Quote# 95248

You have to be an initiated witch to receive a recording contract with the music industry. Every band is initiated into a ceremony. Every major music company has a temple room, where copies are made. 13 witches enter the temple totally naked and conjure a spell to assign a demon to every recording. Albums bring demonic entities into your home if you voluntarily bring them in.

David J. Stewart, Jesus-Is-Savior 90 Comments [6/29/2013 6:21:36 AM]
Fundie Index: 116
Submitted By: Esoteric
WTF?! || meh
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John_in_Oz

Nah, those 13 naked women weren't witches, Dave, even if they DID knock you back.
God I love the recording industry!

6/29/2013 6:31:31 AM

Justanotheratheist

Citation Very Seriously Fucking Needed

6/29/2013 6:38:46 AM

Szena

And he knows this..... how?

6/29/2013 6:40:44 AM



This is batshit even for David.

Either he's gone totally off his meds, or he's cynically trying to manipulate on a whole other level.

6/29/2013 6:47:47 AM



"13 witches enter the temple totally naked"

Someone's been watching too much True Blood.


6/29/2013 6:48:50 AM

Boromir

What, even the Jonas Brothers?

6/29/2013 6:53:40 AM

Thinking Allowed

Hey Dave, the 80s called. They want their satanic panic back.

6/29/2013 7:02:56 AM

capello moderno

This is a wonderful quote.
The added, madeup-on-the-spot, detail does it:
"every major music company has a temple room, where copies are made" ..wonderful.. 13 witches, naked, 1 demon per recording (if you'd please form a queue, here it comes, the new One Direction album), allution to invitating a vampire in.
Highly enjoyable.

6/29/2013 7:22:47 AM



What, even Larry Lorman?

6/29/2013 7:33:58 AM

Swede

You seem to know an awful lot about the music industry. What major music company do you own?

6/29/2013 7:36:00 AM

Qazamir McSmarty Britches

It looks like David here is trying to out crazy Jack Chick.

....












13 witches enter the temple totally naked

Please send more information.

6/29/2013 7:40:38 AM

John

So I guess we should always download our music so we don't bring the demon-infested CDs into our houses.

6/29/2013 7:46:52 AM

Hasher

Isn't this the same stuff John Todd was peddling thirty years ago? He could never prove it either. Todd also claimed that rock lyrics came from Druidic manuscripts, but you seem to have wisely left that bit out.

6/29/2013 7:49:00 AM

Xotan

A bucket of cold water please, before he overheats.

6/29/2013 7:49:28 AM

Broton of Loch Ness

Suddenly I want a job in music!

6/29/2013 8:00:23 AM

Pak

So indie grung, metal, and rock are cool. So long as it isn't the Man. Gotcha.

6/29/2013 8:07:26 AM



So how does this work with copies of digital media ? Does the demon get cloned or split into little tiny bits ?

What happens to the demonic entities if the album is brought in involuntarily or voluntarily by someone without permission to do so (like a guest) ? Depending on the answers there could be valuable weaponizable potential here.

Clearly more research is needed.

(Or you're out of your mind.)

6/29/2013 8:11:50 AM

Noneofyourbusiness

And what were you doing there, in that room where you witnessed this? Are you a follower of Satan, David?

6/29/2013 8:16:42 AM

anevilmeme

Bat shit insane but harmless.

6/29/2013 8:26:15 AM

Papabear

Yeah, that makes sense. We all knew Amy Grant was a witch.

6/29/2013 8:28:17 AM

Jessie's Guitarist

(Head. Hit. KEYBOARD)

1. No, that is a studio.

2. No, those are called groupies.

3. No. But if that's the case, what if it's a recording of you talking?

6/29/2013 8:29:41 AM

ChakatBlackstar

This sounds more like the "plot" to a porn movie then anything.

6/29/2013 8:40:11 AM

UHM

Apple's business practices get weirder and weirder, first they don't seperate hardware and software, now they're telling Christians that physical copies are demonic.

6/29/2013 8:41:26 AM

Liz

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

6/29/2013 8:42:10 AM

Liberal Christian

Is he serious? Wow, completely delusional.

6/29/2013 8:55:06 AM
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