[If I were God for a day...]
first I would take my dyslexia away, big one there.... then I would make it so every class I'm in, I get an A+ every time... then I would have famliy guy be on 24/7 on its on channel for all people and be free too..... I would make my self the CO of wal-mart, I've puched carts for them long enough.... get my self a Nissan 350Z Touring, Subaru B9 Tribeca, Infiniti G35, and one more scion XB, and make it so gas would never run out, and be $0.25 a gallon, no FREE GAS, thats better, lol :P, .. but in the end I would just want to see things the way, God does... so I know why things happn the why they do....
44 comments
Rather than eliminate cancer for instance (or all deadly diseases for that matter), or ensure everyone on the planet had food, Mr nothing would just lamely make things better (in his very limited imagination) for himself....no one else gets a look in.
Fuck you I'm Nothing with out you,
I like how he would first take away _his_ dyslexia. Not "fix every dyslexic", not "give researchers a dependable treatment for dyslexia", not even "provide an important insight into the nature of dyslexia". Nope, it'd just be for him.
Notice how he'd take away his dyslexia, but would not cure his mild retardation.
If I were God for a day, I'd stop the Earth's rotation, and begin reforms with unlimited time! :)
Not just a selfish god but mundane and unambitious too. Most of his "divine" acts can be achieved with hard work.
not really fundie per se, just babble.
Rather sweet in a fluffy bunny sort of way - the naivety is disarming
If I was God I'd hire a flunky to puch the Wal*Mart carts around for me. Damn, then HE would know for sure who's in charge in THIS parking lot, I bet. I wouldn't have to take any of HIS guff. Yeah! And I'd give him a little leprosy.
Oh come on, this isn't fundie. This is just some kid going "If I ran the circus, here's what I'd do ... " True, he didn't say he'd cure AIDS or anything like that. So it's self centered. But if this didn't have the term God in it, it wouldn't be here.
Nice self absorbtion there. Not one second of your day as God was spent thinking about others. Just me-me-me-meee!
You could have arranged for a longlastning gentle rain over Sahara, clean water to everyone, solved the conflict in Palestine/Israel, there is so much that would have benefited lots of people. But nooo, you wanted free gas, higher grades, cable tv show around the clock, a car...
I remember back around '63 or thereabouts, a guy in New York won the Irish Sweepstakes. ($25 million?).not lysdexic!"
... Really?
Not going to cure cancer?
Naw, you're right. God definitely would give himself a Nissan.
How petty and selfish of you. Not to mention un-imaginative.
What about eliminating poverty, cancer, and AIDS and fixing the environment?
All your ideas would just be a petty waste of supreme power, not to mention creating infinite gas would just the environment worse.
But you didn't think about that, did you? You didn't for one second consider the effects your desires would have on the lives of others and on the earth as a whole.
If I had the power to do anything I wanted, I would eliminate cancer and AIDS, and ALS (what Stephen Hawking has), make it so it would be impossible for a woman to get pregnant unless she intended to, create an infinite supply of non-environmentally harmful energy and replace all the existing power generators with generators running off the newly created energy source, replace all vehicles with either electric cars or cars running directly off my personally created clean energy source, create a substance that would produce a pleasant high which would not be physically or seriously psychologically habit-forming and would not be brain-damaging, or otherwise toxic when taken in the proper dosage. Then I would give a lifetime supply to every single person on Earth. Finally I would render various right-wing and creationist idiots incapable of lying, cause I suspect that a lot of them know the crap they spew (especially about Obama) is BS.
And those are just a few things off the top of my head.
Selfish, but pretty harmless.
@ryan
"then I would make it so every class I'm in"
You're spending your day as God going to class? Booo-rinnggg
If I were God for a day the first thing I'd do is cosmically redefine day so that it lasts forever.
From there its what ever.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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