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Quote# 9772

Being full of doubt without ever having a truth would mean you're in need of defecation!! Doubt is great, but when you doubt too much then you really are full of it. I doubt, and have truth..doubted my God. But returned to the full truth.

Keith, Myspace 17 Comments [2/24/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
WTF?! || meh
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Blurb

He's right! I've seen God after a good, healthy BM.

2/24/2006 4:21:19 PM

CSC

Funny, seems like you're still full of it.

2/24/2006 4:29:03 PM

Tiny Bulcher

God is a laxative?

2/24/2006 4:49:53 PM

Manibeaux

Excuse me, I have to go \"have a truth\" now. Must have been the chili.

2/24/2006 5:52:40 PM

QED

Actually, Martin Luther suffered from pretty bad constipation, and claimed to most of his thinking on the throne....so one could argue that modern fundamentalism was literally born on the shitter.

2/24/2006 6:17:47 PM

TDR

what is this? Argument from needing to take a crap?

2/24/2006 7:40:51 PM

Nekhbet

check any online dictionary for the second definition of fundament.

2/24/2006 7:47:33 PM

ssdexecutor

He's right about one thing. I AM in need of defecation. Excuse me.

2/24/2006 8:22:06 PM

Jade

Sooooo you need an ex-lax?

Excuse me, but I have a case of explosive doubt now.

2/24/2006 9:44:42 PM

Maronan

I am so disgusted by this recent revelation of what God is that I refuse to comment on this thread.

2/25/2006 5:55:03 AM

Maronan

Wait...

Damn.

2/25/2006 5:55:15 AM

Julian


That explains all those turd threads last week

2/25/2006 10:04:42 AM

szena

I shouldn't read these while eating lunch.

10/3/2007 12:00:23 PM

Viva

Do not doubt, doubt will make you think, and faith does not need that.

10/3/2007 12:01:57 PM

Moondog

If you're full of it and in need of defecation, you should take a laxative! I had no idea taking a crap could be a religious experience.
" 'Scuse me, while I touch the Sky!"

10/3/2007 12:56:25 PM

Torquemada

Yes, QED is correct - Martin Luther's initial realization that salvation comes through faith, by grace, came about while he was sitting on the toilet during an epic bout of constipation. A few years ago, researchers in Germany actually uncovered this toilet, and you can see pics of it online if you are so inclined.

Because so much of his personal experience revolved around the toilet, Luther was notorious for using scatological imagery in his sermons. He once said: "I have shit and I have pissed - feast your lips on that and take a hearty bite, you devil!" Another similar line went: "I have shit in my pants; hang that around your neck and wipe your mouth with it, devil!" According to some sources I've read, while Luther was holed up in Wartburg Castle, he had a nervous breakdown and flung his own poo all over the walls of his small room. When Prince Frederick discovered the stains on the walls, he asked Luther what had happened, and Luther explain that he was doing battle with the devil by flinging his own feces at the archfiend.

I think my favorite Luther quote, however, was the great wisdom he imparted from his deathbed. The more romantic version of the story has it that Luther's last words were: "I have learned that we are beggars all." That's actually true, and Luther *did* utter those words, but he also had something else to say to his wife a few hours before his passing. Luther's parting assessment of his life was: "I am like a ripe turd, and this world is like a giant anus, and we are ready to part ways."

And no. I'm not kidding.

10/3/2007 1:13:25 PM

Caustic Gnostic

I've heard of the Illinois Enema Bandit... this seems to be an evangelical offshoot: Keith, the Enema Preacher.

10/3/2007 1:54:42 PM
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