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#17355
Blurb
He's right! I've seen God after a good, healthy BM.
2/24/2006 4:21:19 PM
#17356
CSC
Funny, seems like you're still full of it.
2/24/2006 4:29:03 PM
#17365
Tiny Bulcher
God is a laxative?
2/24/2006 4:49:53 PM
#17382
Manibeaux
Excuse me, I have to go \"have a truth\" now. Must have been the chili.
2/24/2006 5:52:40 PM
#17386
QED
Actually, Martin Luther suffered from pretty bad constipation, and claimed to most of his thinking on the throne....so one could argue that modern fundamentalism was literally born on the shitter.
2/24/2006 6:17:47 PM
#17400
TDR
what is this? Argument from needing to take a crap?
2/24/2006 7:40:51 PM
#17404
Nekhbet
check any online dictionary for the second definition of fundament.
2/24/2006 7:47:33 PM
#17422
ssdexecutor
He's right about one thing. I AM in need of defecation. Excuse me.
2/24/2006 8:22:06 PM
#17448
Jade
Sooooo you need an ex-lax?
Excuse me, but I have a case of explosive doubt now.
2/24/2006 9:44:42 PM
#17563
Maronan
I am so disgusted by this recent revelation of what God is that I refuse to comment on this thread.
2/25/2006 5:55:03 AM
#17564
Maronan
Wait...
Damn.
2/25/2006 5:55:15 AM
#17599
Julian
That explains all those turd threads last week
2/25/2006 10:04:42 AM
#300101
szena
I shouldn't read these while eating lunch.
10/3/2007 12:00:23 PM
#300103
Viva
Do not doubt, doubt will make you think, and faith does not need that.
10/3/2007 12:01:57 PM
#300132
Moondog
If you're full of it and in need of defecation, you should take a laxative! I had no idea taking a crap could be a religious experience.
" 'Scuse me, while I touch the Sky!"
10/3/2007 12:56:25 PM
#300142
Torquemada
Yes, QED is correct - Martin Luther's initial realization that salvation comes through faith, by grace, came about while he was sitting on the toilet during an epic bout of constipation. A few years ago, researchers in Germany actually uncovered this toilet, and you can see pics of it online if you are so inclined.
Because so much of his personal experience revolved around the toilet, Luther was notorious for using scatological imagery in his sermons. He once said: "I have shit and I have pissed - feast your lips on that and take a hearty bite, you devil!" Another similar line went: "I have shit in my pants; hang that around your neck and wipe your mouth with it, devil!" According to some sources I've read, while Luther was holed up in Wartburg Castle, he had a nervous breakdown and flung his own poo all over the walls of his small room. When Prince Frederick discovered the stains on the walls, he asked Luther what had happened, and Luther explain that he was doing battle with the devil by flinging his own feces at the archfiend.
I think my favorite Luther quote, however, was the great wisdom he imparted from his deathbed. The more romantic version of the story has it that Luther's last words were: "I have learned that we are beggars all." That's actually true, and Luther *did* utter those words, but he also had something else to say to his wife a few hours before his passing. Luther's parting assessment of his life was: "I am like a ripe turd, and this world is like a giant anus, and we are ready to part ways."
And no. I'm not kidding.
10/3/2007 1:13:25 PM
#300158
Caustic Gnostic
I've heard of the Illinois Enema Bandit... this seems to be an evangelical offshoot: Keith, the Enema Preacher.
10/3/2007 1:54:42 PM
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