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Quote# 9840

I bought a Bible for 99 cents at a "Marcs" discount store. The bible says that there is a devil who will tempt you into partaking in things that wiill kill you while decieivng you into thinking what you are doing is "oh so sophisticated". Just look at the healthy people. Read the slogans, the cigartettes "TASTE FRESH" blah, blah, blah. It's obvious that smoking is a sin glamorized by Jews like Louie B. Mayer, filling the coffers of Big Tobacco, blah blah. The Bible that I paid less than a fdollar for says that the wages of sin is death. Go to the hospitals and see all the women who were promiscuous dying of vaginal cancers. See all the promiscuous homosexuals dying of aids. The smokers on trach tubes dying of throat and lung cancers, the iv drug users whose heart valves were ruined blah, blah, blah. The fact is that sin and death are promoted in an evil world, and the truths of the bible are hidden. Of course smoking kills you.

muslconstruction, Yahoo! Message Boards 29 Comments [2/27/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh
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CousinTed

I don't doubt that he bought a Bible, I just think it may have had the word 'Tijuana' in it's title.

2/28/2006 12:55:01 AM

Jeremy

Based on available information, this post may have been tolerable... I dunno, twenty years ago?

2/28/2006 1:04:52 AM

Julian


Look at all the Christians using faith instead of mecidical advice and dying of stupidity!

2/28/2006 1:23:03 AM

Acetv

Vaginal cancer is a result of sex?

2/28/2006 2:46:25 AM

ssdexecutor

You should have waited until you went to the street corner and got a free Bible from the bearded man who stands there and screams at passerby.

2/28/2006 2:54:16 AM

Julian


Leading cause of cervical cancer is the Human Papillomavirus types 16, 18, 31 and 45.

There's a vaccine that a lot of Christian groups are opposed to. (The same ones that oppose using condoms to stop the spread of AIDS)

2/28/2006 2:58:17 AM

DrunkMonkey

Why is the fact that he bought a bible for 99 cents relevant at all? Is that supposed to put something in perspective? I don't get it.

2/28/2006 2:59:01 AM

PenetratingShaftOfTruthAndSemen

I think he paid way too much for that Bible. What a waste of perfectly good money.

2/28/2006 3:01:25 AM

birdseatbugs

Yeah, it's gotta be the Jews' fault that people smoke and/or that Big Tobacco makes money off of selling something that'll kill you. God knows that the settlers that ended up farming tobacco were _really_ refugees from the Holy Land!

I swear, if I roll my eyes any harder they're gonna _stick_ that way.

2/28/2006 9:02:15 AM

Dan

\"The bible says ... 'oh so sophisticated.'\"

It does? Where?

2/28/2006 1:40:14 PM

llDayo

I paid $2.54 for my pack of cigarettes which make me look cooler than your .99 Bible.

Fucker.

2/28/2006 1:52:49 PM

David D.G.

Oh, boy. And I thought that *I* was a rabid antismoker. I have only one thing to say to this: \"Please stop! You are making antismokers look bad by association!\"


~David D.G.

2/28/2006 2:58:01 PM

JustinGG

See the wife, and mother of three kids, dying of breast cancer at the age of 35 because, well we don't know why. Oh, wait. That doesn't fit...

2/28/2006 3:46:22 PM

Caphi

Message: spot on.
Reasoning: way off.

2/28/2006 4:43:13 PM

King Spirula

blah blah blah and see the kids in the cancer wards dying from watching that homo Spongebob blah blah blah. Wonder how these fuckers explain their deaths or the deaths of their preachers etc.

2/28/2006 6:33:36 PM

Nekhbet

I went to 'Brains Are Us' and bought a Fundie brain, it cost me $150,000-it had never been used.

2/28/2006 10:02:53 PM

Sierra

So there's a Jewish tobacco conspiracy, too?

2/28/2006 10:36:50 PM

TDR

say what, now?

3/1/2006 1:32:58 AM

Julian


Nekhbet. Pristine condition - washed daily since birth!

(although I'm assuming the really expensive part was grafting in the reasoning cerebella and removing the cancerous dogma)

3/1/2006 1:44:17 AM

bria

99 cents? the bible is worth a whole lot less than that. ive heard people get it for free. its better in the fireplace with logs....

8/2/2006 5:43:36 PM

birch

Well we are all gonna die, even you muslconstruction! I hope you enjoy this life now because as far as I can tell it's the only one you get!

1/25/2007 12:39:37 PM

BurntBush

I smoke. Not dead. Fuck you.

1/25/2007 1:11:18 PM

DrWeird

Yeah. Go the hospital and see all the dying people who read the Bible every day, never drank, never smoked, never had sex with anyone they weren't married to (if that), and gave 10% of their money to Pat Robertson or Jerry Fallwell.

So does that mean Christianity causes death?

1/25/2007 2:22:24 PM

TheUnholyMint

...See all the sinful newborns with congenital defects

2/25/2007 11:46:37 AM

Man Called True

I'm pretty sure I once saw a tobacco ad in a cheap Bible. Answer that one, Muscl.

2/25/2007 2:12:16 PM
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