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Quote# 125257

in response to this post


The issue I have with this post is that for the purposes of who it’s appropriate for you to be dating you’re 30, not 17 ,always. To go ‘oooooh which is the age you should be judging the morality of my relationships by 30 or 17 it’s impossible to say!’ you’re implicitly telling people that there’s some ambiguity as to whether having headmates who are minors as an adult means your relationships should be judged as a minor’s relationships. There is not. This is the main point of this reblog and tbh it’s something you need to speak on. Arguing for age gaps between adults being okay shouldn’t be done in ways that could be used to justify child abuse, and that’s a responsibility you take on when you speak on the issue.


We have spoken on it. Repeatedly. And… no, you’re dangerously leaving out an important nuance there: A system member who is a minor, even in an adult body, is still a fucking minor and so probably should not “have their relationships judged as an adult” - they shouldn’t be entering into adult relationships at all. Yes, this leaves an awkward spot where there’s basically no ethical way for some system members to date at all. Again, we’ve spoken publicly on this very issue before, including in direct response to this post.

.You’re not allowed to ignore age completely whether you’re a singlet or not. The age of your body absolutely determines, at least, the minimum age of the people it is ethical for you to date and I don’t know why you continually dance around whether or not you agree with that because you have made it unclear.

.”mental age” is measured in a lot of different ways by a lot of different people, unlike chronological age which is objective and it’s often used to tell disabled people what they can and cannot do so I think it’s up to her to decide the age of the people she is comfortable dating, depending on what exactly she is using the very ambiguous term “mental age” to convey, and her chronological age.

.It’s actually pretty dangerous to a wide variety of people to respond to people saying “23 year olds and 30 year olds shouldn’t date” with but ‘I’m a system and therefore using age as a measure of the morality of a relationship is flawed.’ Like were the “antis” you’re discussing even talking about a relationship that involved systems in any way?

.Also “think carefully about your answer” look it’s so unsettling how you’re conducting this conversation like SEE IF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS PUZZLE I”VE CONCOCTED like people are trying to talk to you about how something you said had some really uncomfortable implications and you should at least try to treat our concerns in a way that’s honest and self-critical and not be trying to like get us to say something wrong so you “win”that’s not how this works.



What SM was arguing in the OP - what we have argued consistently - is that chronological age does not equal narrative age for multiples. SM split in a trauma event 17 years ago. So yes, it is 17 years old. But believe it or not, we aren’t born quite like you. It didn’t need to learn to walk and talk and use a toilet again. It came into existence as a teenager, in a teenage body. It continued to age in real time, so despite having existed for 17 years, it has a narrative age in the mid-30s.
This information has already been explicitly provided to you.
So… your argument is that a system member with a narrative age in the mid-30s, with a body in the mid-30s, is the victim of a gross predator… because she’s in a consensual relationship with someone younger. Because you are utterly fixated on dictating to multiples instead of listening to us about our experience and how your rules get really fucked up and ableist when you apply them to us unilaterally.
What’s even more fucked up is that you’re making this argument after repeatedly arguing that a system member with a narrative age of fourteen should be allowed to date adults because they happen to be in an older body.
Like. Do you have any idea how many different levels of fucked up you’re being here?
Re: mental age: If you know that, then maybe you know better than to apply it to other DD people without their consent? No? What a surprise, consideration for other people’s boundaries and differing situations is not your strong suit.



You seriously could have just said that you’re 30 and your girlfriend is 23 and it’s a healthy relationship without doing all this bullshit
.‘checkmate people who disapprove of relationships between 30 year olds and 23 year olds, I’m also 17’ is an inherently dangerous sentiment, deflecting criticism of your relationship based on the age of your body by bringing up your chronological age of your alter absolutely cosigns some pedophiles’ justifications
.



2. Well, there’s the aspect that we’ve brought up repeatedly and you literally just acknowledged: Basing your decisions solely on the age of the body opens up two loopholes for the abuse of children.

I have never seen someone so determined to allow for the abuse of children in my life.

2.5. They weren’t just calling it “inherently predatory,” they were calling it “pedophilic.” That is the absurdity I was responding to. There is no, repeat no, way for a relationship between two adults to be pedophilic.

3. I could’ve done a lot of things. I chose to write a quick snarky post to vent some of my frustration. This is just tone-policing a mentally ill woman for not responding to ableism politely enough for you. Fuck off.

4. “Your expressed policies paint me as simultaneously predator and victim of the same person, this is absurd” is not an inherently dangerous statement. I wasn’t deflecting criticism of my relationship - I was responding to criticism of a fictional relationship and the fact that it leaves zero room for me to exist. And I wasn’t bringing up the age of a system mate. I was talking about myself. I am an adult who happens to have existed for 17 years. This is a thing that happens, and maybe if you could stop being an ableist fuck for like half a second you’d be able to understand that.

This is not cosigning anybody’s justification for the abuse of children. This is saying “Your rules have a blatant and ugly failure case; better rules are needed.” I have, repeatedly, offered better rules which - unlike yours - do not simultaneously paint someone as predator and victim or allow for the exploitation of children.

Seriously. I said “Hey, there’s a problem with your policies, here’s a policy that better protects children.” And you are trying to pretend I am cheerleading for child molesters, like the ones who fucking raped us, because I did so a bit snarkily (after already having been the target of multiple smear campaigns by antis for daring to actually listen to experts and evidence).

No part of this is honest disagreement. You are doing exactly what I have always objected to in the Anti Squad - reaching as hard as you fucking can for any excuse to portray anybody who disagrees with you as a supporter of child molesters. You are actively harming CSA survivors and mentally ill people and allowing child molesters to go unchallenged, and that is beyond disgusting. Get the fuck off our post with that shit.






wetwareproblem, tumblr 15 Comments [3/9/2017 3:22:12 PM]
Fundie Index: 7

Quote# 125203

keep in mind that this person is actually physically in their mid-late thirties and is talking about their multiple personalities or "headmates"/"alters" . The word "system" in this context refers to people with multiple personalities/"headmates"

I am 17 years old. This is not an age regression thing or anything like that; it is “I literally did not exist before a specific incident in 1999.” [b]My body, however, is twice that age. I am the closest thing to a Responsible Adult in here; I am the voice of reason and restraint and caution and the one who tends to take care of adulting.

If I am in a relationship with a 23-year-old, is that gross and predatory? If so, who is abusing whom? Show your work.


This is common logic used by predators and pedos. You’re 17, but then use ur “physical age” to prove how ~wise and mature~ you are? If you mentally think ur 17 ur not a responsible adult then lol ur really not if ur mentally 17 like most of the other discoursers. Stop trying to act like ur some authority bc ur actually 30, but think ur really 17. A relationship w a 23 yr old obviously is not predatory on their part as ur not actually 17, and ur brain physically is developed past that point/you aren’t in highschool anymore. There’s a difference between you being actually 30 but mentally 17 and dating a 23 year old vs a real 17 yr old dating a 23 year old.

Are you also trying to imply that it’s fine for 23 year olds to date 17 year olds, like actual 17 year olds



HOLY FUCKING SHIT, pal. Not only do you have the actual facts involved completely ass-backward (try reading a post before replying to it, instead of trusting blatant lies), but you are actively encouraging child abuse here with a bonus side of ableism and dehumanization.

Please do systems everywhere a favour and stay far away from us. Your ideas about us are harmful and (I can’t emphasize this enough) encourage the actual abuse of literal children


I,,,, what, ? In ur original post you say try to pull weight/claim ur more adult/more mature than other 17 yr olds but u literally cannot have it both ways ? Like, you’ve claimed to be a real adult on other posts ur urs like using the fact ur actually 30 something as support for why you are right.

How am I encouraging child abuse and pedophillia since that’s what u tagged this as lol




One: You’d think that if we’re constantly leaning on our bio age for authority, as you claim, you would be able to actually get it right. You have not. That’s revealing.

Two: You’ve got your understanding of my situation ass-backward, because you listened to someone else’s lies instead of actually reading what you were replying to.

Three: You just said, in so many words, that it is okay for adults to date teenagers. This should be cause to seriously reevaluate what you’re saying and doing. And in the meantime, keep the fuck away from systems.


You said ur mentally 17 yet physically 30, then asked what those ~antis~ were gonna say about ur 23 yo partner ? Like unless u mean something else by antis? I assumed u we’re talking about people being anti pedophillia? Ur the one asking if the 23 yr old is abusing u, the mentally 17 yr old, is a condescending fashion??


Nope. Try again. I said I am literally 17. At this time in 1999, I did not exist. At this time in 2000, I (am reasonably sure I) did. If you scroll up very slightly, you can see this for yourself! Along with me mentioning that I am, in fact, the Responsible Adult in my system - that is, my maturity and responsibility level is considerably ahead of my chronological age

Still off-base. It’s almost like we don’t actually wave our age around as much as you claim!

So are you planning to address what I actually said, or still having fun being ableist as fuck and ignoring the fact that you literally said it was okay for adults to date teenagers?


wetwareproblem, Tumblr 8 Comments [3/8/2017 2:03:15 PM]
Fundie Index: 7

Quote# 124328

“I know my body better than some doctor”
No you literally do not. You did not attend 12+ years of medical school, you did not spend hundreds of thousands in tuition and have student loans for the rest of your life to get a medical degree. You do not, in fact, know more about your body than “some doctor”. Surprise!



Okay. yeah, that doctor has a lot of training. 12 whole years. Maybe they know The Generic Human Body better than you. In fact, they probably do.

But The Generic Human Body, the one used in basically all education and medical testing, is an abled, cis, white adult man.

If you are not an abled, cis, white, adult man, there is an extremely good chance you know your body - the individual one you’ve lived with for your entire life - better than the doctor in question.

While we’re at it: When I was a teenager, I wound up in psychiatric and psychological care. I was being seen by two professionals, who combined had been trainning longer than I had been alive - never mind their actual experience.

They misdiagnosed me. Horribly. They thought I was bipolar; I was depressed. It almost killed me, and did in fact culminate in getting my stomach pumped, spending a week in psychiatric ICU on suicide watch, and permanent aggravation of my sensory processing disorder - the SPD that came with the extremely blatant autism that these Learned Professionals completely missed.

(Funfact: The drug that aggravated my SPD? I was in the trial group for it. I’ve recently gathered - with my tiny-ass reach here on tumblr - a dozen testimonials from other people with SPD who had reactions to this drug. It’s still not listed as a possible side effect or contraindication.)

wetwareproblem, tumblr 13 Comments [2/7/2017 8:09:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 2

Quote# 124327

oh ok yeah just checking. And yeah that's a problem in the u.s. too. Its really messed up. In some states kids can be taken away on the presumption of neglect even if literally nothing has happened and they're fine, just because the parent has a diagnosis. Anyway I'm sure you're a great parent, I hope the government never fucks with you or if they have they lose.



Yeah, it’s… kinda terrifying, and it’s already impacted me in a major way.

For the past couple months, I’ve been going to a therapist, who has the authority to refer me up to a psychiatrist if I need more help than she can give me (spoiler alert: I do.) I was very interested in this; in particular I really wanted to try medication for ADHD in hopes that I could get over some of my memory and executive dysfunction issues.

Then that story dropped.

You can damn well bet that I haven’t made a single peep about anything that might get me that referral since. My mental health care has gotten worse - in turn impacting the level and quality of care I can provide my child because if I get what I need she might be taken away.

wetwareproblem, tumblr 3 Comments [2/7/2017 8:09:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 2

Quote# 124223

Since conversion therapy is looming in everyone’s consciousness right now:

This is your regular reminder that ABA, the generally-recommended therapy for autistic children, is literally conversion therapy with an extra dose of “auties aren’t even real people” thrown in for good measure. It was conceived by the same people, from the same research, for the same ends: To brutalize and torture children into a narrow range of “acceptable” behaviour.

And it is considered totally legitimate and valid and even preferred by the overwhelming majority of the medical industry.

Do not leave disabled people out of your activism

wetwareproblem, tumblr 18 Comments [2/4/2017 2:38:10 PM]
Fundie Index: 1

Quote# 124222

I never cease to be frustrated by anti-self-dxers, and how they seem to have literally never heard of someone like me - someone who is an adult, has consulted to the best of their ability including speaking with professionals without the authority to enter a diagnosis, cannot under any circumstances get a diagnosis, because I will (not can, but absolutely 100% certainty fucking will) lose important legal rights such as access to my fucking child, and a huge amount of my trauma centers around institutionalization and the fear of going back.

These circumstances are… really not that uncommon among self dx folks?

But sure it’s all just kids making shit up for attention


Yyyyyyeahhhhh somehow I REALLY doubt that you’d lose your kid if you got a professional diagnosis. On the contrary, if you keep self-diagnosing, you probably WILL lose your kid.
Not to mention you could self-Dx yourself wrong, and guess what? It could be something totally different and ten times more/less harmful.



When I wrote this, it was a couple weeks after the highest court in my province put two kids in foster care because their parents were autistic, and that was deemed sufficiently dangerous to warrant removal.

And, y'know, I was almost killed by professional misdiagnosis, something it’s taken me the better part of twenty years to get past in any way, and which still haunts my nightmares.

But, y'know, I highly doubt real, lived experiences matter more than your strawmen. So whatever.


Yyyyyyeahhhhh somehow I REALLY doubt that you’d lose your kid if you got a professional diagnosis. On the contrary, if you keep self-diagnosing, you probably WILL lose your kid.
Not to mention you could self-Dx yourself wrong, and guess what? It could be something totally different and ten times more/less harmful.




Me: “Professional DX could cost me my child.”
Some asshole: “Doubt it.”
You: “That dude’s right.”
Me: “That literally happened to people, in my city, just before I said that.”
You: “But that was because of professional diagnosis! Go see a doctor!”

Like. Do you even logic? You’re literally saying that an incident in which people had their kids taken away on the basis of a professional diagnosis shouldn’t count as a reason not to be professionally diagnosed.

You: “Self-dx could be harmful, maybe! I can’t point to any actual cases of this happening, but this is my theory.”
Me: “Here in the real world, professional dx lead to me being mismedicated, attempting suicide, and going through the most traumatic experience of my life. But I’m sure that doesn’t matter against your hypothetical dangers of self-diagnosis.”
You: “That totally wasn’t a strawman! Go see a doctor!”

Like. Yeah. That was fucking traumatic as shit. Yes, I’m in therapy that’s specifically helping me to address it. And yes, my therapist has extremely strict instructions to never refer me to anybody with diagnostic authority - a policy she understands, accepts, and supports. How am I gonna get medication without a diagnosis? I’m not. I’m gonna have to cope using what non-medicinal tools are available to me. Because that’s how I keep my child and my life and my freedom.

But self-diagnosis is so incredibly harmful! I should totally trust a stranger on the Internet about my mental health needs, rather than myself and my actual fucking therapist, right?

As for the “you can’t rely on yourself” shit: That is the literal, textbook definition of a strawman. It’s one you fucks always trot out, and I’ve literally never seen a single case of it being true. Self-diagnosis is generally an intensive process, involving months of research, talking to people who have the condition, seeing how relatable their experiences are to you, trying some of their coping methods and (in my case, because I was incredibly lucky) consulting both officially and unofficially with people who work professionally with patients in a non-diagnosing and non-prescribing capacity.

Finally: Even if I were to take your advice, even though why should I… Who’s gonna cough up the $2000? Because I’m sure as fuck not taking it out of my kid’s mouth. Or mine.

Think for half a fucking second about this before you condescend to me again. And maybe don’t compare an autie to a movement that would rather their children die than grow up like her?

wetwareproblem, tumblr 16 Comments [2/4/2017 2:37:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 3

Quote# 124225

I’ll say this again. I’m a Behavioral Therapist for children with autism and much of this information is highly inaccurate.

Every single one of the parents that I work with love their kids so much. They listen to them, they are kind to them, and they treat them like REAL PEOPLE. They listen to them when they say they’re sad. They comfort them and love them and care for them just like the do with their other kids. The parents I’ve seen care about their kids possibly more than any other parent I’ve ever seen (including parents with neurotypical children). These parents are willing to do whatever it takes to make their children be their unique selves and 100% HAPPY with themselves as well.

ABA therapy doesn’t tell kids to look happy when they’re sad inside, it teaches them FUNCTIONAL communication. Aka saying “I’m sad because…” rather than screaming incoherently. It teaches them to communicate with people by verbalizing their emotions rather than acting them out in forms of stereotypic behavior (tantrums, self injurious behavior, elopement, etc).

And for your source about the JRC. Those places are terrible. THOSE places are shit. They HAVE tortured people with disabilities. But there are companies and organizations that have paired together with places like the JRC that you SHOULD avoid.

The link to the people who have experienced ABA therapy MOST LIKELY experienced it from those places similar to JRC.

I have NEVER restrained a child. I am NOT allowed to restrain a child (with the exception of emergency situations like a child is about to run into a street or something). I do NOT teach my kids to hate themselves. I do NOT believe in negative reinforcers. I have NOT ONCE hit, yelled at, verbally abused, physically abused, emotionally abused or even electrocuted any of my kids.

I have to shadow one of my clients at his school and his teachers are completely rude and treat him like a literal piece of shit. But you know what happens when they’re rude to MY client?? I call them the fuck out for it. I tell them that they wouldn’t say rude shit like that to their other kids, so why this one? I make SURE that people treat my kids LKE REAL PEOPLE. And if ANYONE dares to even think about disrespecting any of my clients they will definitely be hearing it from me.

I love EVERY SINGLE one of my clients like they are my own children. I would literally risk my life to save theirs if the situation ever occurred. I can’t believe that this post is going around spreading information like this. It literally hurts me to believe that people think I ELECTROCUTE my kiddos.

Yes there are really REALLY shitty places that do evil things to people with disabilities.

But there are places that take care of them and love them as well.

OP, I am not trying to speak for you. I believe that your voice SHOULD be heard. But please be specific and do no generalize the therapy as a whole. Call out places like the JRC, but do not blame it on ABA. Speak about your experiences and WHICH SPECIFIC places other autistic effected families should avoid. But also, please do some research and spread information about places that are beneficial to kids with autism.

ABA is not bad. The way certain places use it are.





All right, here we go again. Warning: Shit’s gonna get real and pretty dark here. TW for abuse and rape.

First: “much of this information is highly inaccurate.” Citation sorely fucking needed. I sourced all of my shit in depth; exactly which of these sources are you claiming is lying, and on what points?

Second: Either you live in a blessed land of fairies and unicorns, or you’re making shit up. It is the extremely painful experience of literally thousands of auties - no small number of which have spoken about it at length - that people are only willing to listen to us when we speak in ways that they are comfortable with, expressing thoughts and feelings that they are comfortable with. This all too often includes our parents. Hell, “Autism Parent” is a fucking meme in autistic culture.

The fact that you don’t know this speaks volumes about your willingness to actually listen to us.

Third: I’m a little less concerned with what any individual parent - hell, what any individual therapist - might think than I am with the foundation and structures of the practice. And guess what? That foundation is in a view that we are not people. (Did you even click the links?) It is built on abusing children into feigning normalcy. The seed of modern ABA practice was literally the same doctor bringing the same mindset to the “problems” of “making auties into Real People” and “making gay and bi boys and trans girls into Real Men.”

It has, as its explicit stated goal, the elimination of behaviours deemed “unsightly.” Do I need to quote the fucking defining papers? You say “verbalizing rather than stereotypic behaviour,” and we hear “force you to communicate in our language, no matter how difficult that is for you, instead of taking the time to learn yours.” We hear “prevent us from stimming, no matter how important that is to us as a regulatory tool.” We hear “Quiet hands.” You want to know why places like the JRC happen and keep happening? Why this is a huge, widespread fucking problem? It is because one of the core tenets of ABA is that you do not and will not listen to us unless we communicate in the ways you deem fit. And that doesn’t just mean “use your words,” it very often means “tell us what we want to hear.”

You do not know whether you are teaching your kids to hate themselves. You do not and cannot know that, because what ABA teaches us is how to recognize and present the expected signs regardless of what is happening in our heads. What it teaches us is how to mask and cover like abuse victims. And you should take a really fucking good look at why that might be.

You say “There are ABA centers that love their patients and take care of them.” You say “I love every single client like they are my own children.”

I hear my mother, desperately trying to make sure I would grow up happy in a world full of cruel people, telling me not to fidget, glancing around to see if people are giving us That Look again. I hear “something is wrong with your body language; hide it Or Else.”

I hear my mother, my loving mother who is trying to take care of me, telling me that I need to stop talking about my special interests because I’m boring people. I hear “Nobody cares what you have to say.”

I hear my mother, trying to keep me from having problems, telling me it can’t possibly be that bright and I need to take my sunglasses off or people will make fun of me. I hear “Your pain is less important than keeping up appearances, and literally anyone and everyone will punish you if you don’t comply.”

I hear my mother, my sweet loving mother who wants what’s best for her child, going about her business as though everything is perfectly normal while I’m dying inside, because I no longer have any way to tell her what a hellscape my head has become. My ways of conveying this are Unacceptable and Lashing Out, not Communication, and I might have been taught the words for “I’m sad,” but not for “Everything is Too Much” or “nothing makes me happy any more” or “I hate myself and I don’t want to.” Eventually, she will see the scars left by what coping methods I have. She will put me into well-intentioned but misguided psychiatric care. They will listen to what their forms tell them over what I am saying - because I still don’t have the words - and medicate me into a suicide attempt. This will result in traumatic institutionalization, and I will restructure my entire life and personality around the core tenet of “never let anyone see the pain or they will hurt you worse.” I now have people who will provide what comfort I need when I need it on my terms - but they still have to learn to read from the tiny cracks in my many, many masks, because over 90% of the time I still cannot bring myself to say “I need help.”

I hear my mother, speaking over me countless times without noticing, teaching me that she (as the Authority Figure) always knows best even when it makes no sense to me. I hear “You just don’t know any better; what the authority figure says is correct.” Later, when authority figures blame me for basically being weird enough to get beaten, I learn that violence is an acceptable response to failure to conform and comply. When my rapist tells me that a vague unspecified They will hurt him if I don’t do what he says (even though it feels Wrong and Bad), I believe him, because this is the world I have come to know.

I hear my mother today, so many years later, responding to any attempt to explain any of this by crying and telling me what a horrible parent she was, and lamenting how she could have done things differently If She’d Only Known. But she never listened.

I hear myself consoling her, reassuring her that what she did to me wasn’t so bad, that she acted out of love using he tools and information she had. Because by now I have well and truly learned that my pain will never matter as much as anybody else’s.

That is what I hear when you claim to love your clients as your own children. And while the details of my story might be unique, the general arc of it is not. That is what thousands of us are hearing. We are hearing all the people who claimed to love us over the years, bending and sawing and chipping and breaking us so we fit into an Acceptable Mold.

And when you tell me that it is our fucking job to find ABA centers that are somehow - despite the entire thrust of ABA - not doing this, and spread the word about them instead of about the countless places that have done this to us?

Well, that’s an outright demand for “Hey, it’s not so bad. You’re doing the best you can with the tools you have.” It is yet another in the endless series of demands faced by autistic people - say what I want, not what matters to you. It is an outright and explicit prioritization of the appearances and reputations of allistic people over the ongoing pain of autistic people. It is the latest chapter in the story I just told.

It is not our job to reform ABA. It is yours. Autistic people are not the ones responsible for how allistic people treat us. My voice is my own, and I will speak the truths I want to speak - not the kind, soothing lies that absolve you of all responsibility to do better.

wetwareproblem, tumblr 8 Comments [2/4/2017 11:41:26 AM]
Fundie Index: 4

Quote# 124100

James Baldwin was right. The mainstream “LGBT” movement is, at its core, a reaction by cis white gay men who are confused and infuriated at being denied the privilege that is their birthright.

wetwareproblem, tumblr 11 Comments [1/31/2017 2:38:49 PM]
Fundie Index: 2

Quote# 124098

I know this is going to make me sound heartless, but I do revel in the fact that the nasty, cisphobic trans people are often those who are totally paranoid to the point where they feel completely unsafe in the world. It cracks me up to think of you toxic pieces of shit suffering in an eternal hell caused by forces that you have little to no control over. It’s hilarious how many more people would want to fight for you if you weren’t so unpleasant.

At the same time, I would never wish it on you. If I did have some control, I’d have things change for you. Sure, I wouldn’t give you everything that you want… because that would be totally unreasonable. What I would give you is the equal rights you desire and I’d strip from you that crippling fear that burdens your life.

Violence is something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone who wasn’t a mortal enemy. I just think it’s fucked up how you’ve let it corrupt you. Because of this, I have no real choice but to laugh. Because you were bullied, you became a bully yourself. You’re dead inside.

To the trans people who are good, respectful people:
I salute you. We may have very little to nothing in common, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have a general respect for each other and wish to co-exist in this cold, uncaring world.

I wish you all the luck in the world.



Mitch, the reason this makes you sound heartless is because it is heartless. Based on what I’m seeing here, you’re a pretty horrible person: You’re wishing horrendous suffering on people who say mean things. People who say mean things in reaction to vast amounts of systemic abuse, which you’re contributing to here.

You’re drawing an equivalence between you being insulted, and horrifying levels of violence, murder, and denial of basic medical care, among other things



I am not drawing an equivalence at all, that was never my intention. Also, I fail to see how I am contributing to systematic abuse in any way. Feel free to explain yourself.

The only reason I’m responding to you is because you actually reached out and made an effort, even if I think you essentially missed the entire point of everything I said.





you actually said “Because you were bullied, you became a bully yourself.” That’s painting a very false equivalence between silencing, employment and housing discrimination, violence, and murder on one hand, and mean words on the other. It’s pretending that trans people could ever “bully” cis people the way cis people have “bullied” trans people.

Whether or not that was your intent, that is what you did.

You’re contributing to systemic abuse by trying to silence us - by insisting that we’re only worthy of any sort of consideration as human beings if our response to the abuse is to smile and take it. This is directly enabling abusers, because it allows them to say “It can’t be that bad, nobody’s complaining.” Anger is not just a valid response to oppression, it’s the only one that gets things done. If you insist on taking that away from us, you empower the abusers and prevent us from ever getting any sort of justice.

Finally: I didn’t miss the point of what you said at all. It was just… a misguided, malformed argument. If you truly want to end trans people’s “hateful” response to their abuse, end the abuse. Blaming it on trans people is just counterproductive and shows us that you won’t stand with us no matter what we say. You’ll insist that we stand with you, even as you enable our abusers.

wetwareproblem, tumblr 5 Comments [1/31/2017 2:38:28 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
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