If it disagrees with the King James Bible - it's wrong.
53 comments
@Tiny Bulcher
I never get why the Authorised Version is deemed so superior. After all, it's Authorised by the Church of England, a body fundies tend not to belong to. Peer pressure, politics, etc.
King Henry VIII: "And I will start a new religion in this country, and I will call it the... er... Psychotic Bastard Religion!"
"I wonder if they'd accept a new Bible revised by George W. After all, God ordained and speaks through him too, apparently."
So, what about the parts that contradict the other parts? Like one of those commandments that says "Do not kill", then later in Leviticus, where laws are described, and the punishment for breaking them is death.
MAGPie
Oh dear...God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.
Numbers 24:8 (KYV)
God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.
And of course.
Judges 1:19
And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.
and no, it wasn't a passing fad.
Judges 4:3 (KJV)
And the children of Israel cried unto the LORD: for he had nine hundred chariots of iron; and twenty years he mightily oppressed the children of Israel.
So basically your 'omnipotent' God is only as powerful as a fucking draft horse and can't even beat up some iron chariots...
Forget rock paper scissors, let's play water, unicorns, chariots. Water beats chariots beats unicorns beats water.
Go KJV!
(water beats chariots in Exodus 14:28, 15:4, 15:19 and Deuteronomy 11:4)
I've got a nice one for him:
The current (American) fundie obsession with the KJV has always seemed strange. Back when it was written, the fundies of the day condemned it as a sacrelegious changing of God's word into "heathen" English. The guy who did most of the original work, William Tyndale, was burned at the stake for it. If the Bible is the unerring word of God, He certainly didn't give it to humanity in 17th century English, so the KJV or any other English Bible can never be more than a rough approximation of the actual scriptures.
Very well, AV1611VET, for your benefit, I'll say it again, and I'll even modify it specifically to fit you.
Insects have six legs.
Reality disagrees with your KJV waifu, but there's no use running from it. You can't run from reality. You can't plug your ears and cover your eyes.
Sorry, I have no idea why I'm stuck in "obligatory Persona refs" mode.
If it disagrees with the King James Bible - the KJB is wrong, yes.
Oh, you didn't mean it like that? Well, then you're wrong.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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