Bluegrass_Girl #fundie

Bluegrass_Girl #fundie teens-4-christ.org

Me and my parents have decided that I will not date. We believe in courting. Dating leads to foolish things. By courting, I mean the young man participating in outings with my family and such. Very safe places! I have decided to fully give my heart to my dad. He will be the authorty over me until my wedding day. I (with God's help) hope never to even hold hands with my future husband until my wedding day. I wear a purity ring to remind me of that daily. One day, my purity ring will be molded into my future husbands wedding band as a sign that I am fully giving my heart to him. And that is my whole heart, not a broken heart that I have waisted on other guys.

176 comments

old comment by NotMe

Sure, let's not get to know the guy you are going to meet on a personal level. Only hear the things that are "safe" to discuss in the presence of your parents and never see how he faces hardships (rejection, things just generally not going his way, how he treats his friends and who his friends are and by far the most sinful and seeing how he lives because you can learn a lot about someone by seeing his standard of living and the friends he or she keeps.)in the "safe places."
This is just about the most unrewarding way to ever get into a wedding. You might as well place a wanted add in the newspaper asking for a guy to be present at the church at a set date. HairlessMonkeyDK: Sure, it's creepy and old fashioned but screaming incest is going overboard. It just says that she has to obey her father, not that the father has sex with her.

old comment by Papabear

"Me and my parents have decided that I will not date."
Big whup. BTW it's "My parents and I," dinkwad. "We believe in courting. Dating leads to foolish things." Yeah, foolish things like getting to know your future husband in situations where he is NOT supervised. If you can't trust him in an unsupervise situation before you are married, why should you trust him after you are married? "By courting, I mean the young man participating in outings with my family and such." That's all well and good, but you really should want to see his behavior in many different situations. "Very safe places!" So, you'll know exactly how he'll behave in very safe situations and nothing about how he'll behave in stressful or "tempting" scenarios. "I have decided to fully give my heart to my dad. He will be the authorty over me until my wedding day." Most pre-teen boys go through a stage of wishing for a slave for a girlfriend. Most worthwhile, adult men have gotten over that fantasy and are looking for a complete, thinking woman. "I (with God's help) hope never to even hold hands with my future husband until my wedding day." Why? Is there hair growing on your palms? "I wear a purity ring to remind me of that daily. One day, my purity ring will be molded into my future husbands wedding band as a sign that I am fully giving my heart to him." Awww. How sweet. How artificially, overly sweet. How cloyingly sweet and silly. "And that is my whole heart, not a broken heart that I have waisted on other guys." Broken hearts are part of growing up. Such experiences help to develop empathy and perspective. They help you know what you need and don't need in a partner. You'll be a more complete person and probably make a better choice if you date a few people before you choose your husband.

old comment by PassingThrough

Indeed, sad. Afraid of life and the hurts that go with it; protected and sheltered to the point of atrophied emotions. Bluegrass has been groomed to be 'the good wife' .. to not question her husband, to do exactly as she's told by her husband, to live her life for her husband. Yes, there are boys who like this in a woman ... she fetches their beer, turns the t.v. stations for them, cooks the meals, does the dishes, laundry ... she is their own personal slave. The boys are groomed to want this in a girl and the girls are groomed to be this for a boy. She will one day realize that she's miserable, but will be unable to put her finger on just why. Goes from daddy's care to hubby's ... she'll never really know who she is and will recognize herself in Edith Bunker every time she watches All in the Family; that is, if her husband allows it. This structure reeks of a world built by men, for men .. men of small ego's who are afraid of any competition from women; makes me sick to see woman devalued like this.

old comment by ........<3

Yes well see, God has someone planned for me, We have free will so i could stray from gods will and just not go for that guy and pick my own, but i know that whoever god has for me will be just right... god is kinda cool like that... so yeh, we have free will, god doesn't want a bunch of puppets for followers, he wants us to choose him.. But Gods will is perfect and in our imperfection we fall away from his plan for our lives...and i don't expect to live a worry free life just cause i'm a christian, 2 timothy 3:12 says - In fact everyone wants to live a godly life in christ will be persecuted- but ultimatly, i've got the best eternal dystiny anyone could dream of... wow i kinda got off topic, sorry....

old comment by Julian

first off, i never said it would the first guy i come across, though that would be a load off my mind, God will put him in my life, make our paths cross, w/e, I won't know it's him (unless of course god tells me right away) If you find someone you like, ask god about them and he'll tell you if that is the guy he has for you.. so basically what i'm saying is- I won't know, until god tells me..how cool would it be if there were a bunch of trmpets surrounding the guy though? haha, j/k.....

Oh no, you know that talking to "God" is commonly called "prayer".
I hope you also know that "God" talking to you is commonly called "schizophrenia". So when do you pray and ask God if he's the one? Obviously before you hold hands. Will you have spoken to him even? What if "God" says "yes he is the one", and he says he isn't. Will you become a Holy stalker?

old comment by ..........<3

I'm not going to heaven because i read my bible or anything..It's cause God gave everyone his law, we sinned , Jesus was given as the perfect sacrifice, Everyone would of had to go to hell because we didn't obey gods law, and as any good judge would do to those who break the law he would of had to, well, punish us...since jesus paid our fine though we no longer have to go to hell, but , but by trusting in christ, and repenting our sin (which btw doesn't mean we stop sinning altogether) we have the privledge of living eternaly in heaven with our maker... Just wondering btw- what do athiests' believe happens when we die?....
In regards to prayer, God does speak and i know he is real, i've had too many coincedenses and too many answered prayers and..everything to think any differently...

old comment by Julian

Ummmm, you might like to read your bible! Hell's not actually mentioned in the Old Testament sweety! OK?
Don't believe me. Read Deuteronomy 28. That's what God does to you when you or anyone you know breaks his Commandments over a period of about 25,000 years... Maybe 100,000 if you believe people can live to 900 and sire children at 100. Very amusing - especially the stuff about botch, and how women are property. Now then, once you've read Deuteronomy 28, go and read Exodus 34. They're the real 10 Commandments. They're the actual word of your "God" sweety - the Ritual Jewish Decalogue is what God wrote on those tablets! Are you keeping up? Good, let's see. Funnily enough, with time those things God said he'd do, didn't actually happen, and when they did they happened to people who kept is Commandments just as muchas those who didn't. Furthermore, Babylonian Law replaced Levitican Law as it was a lot fairer and less arbitrary and a hell of a lot more logical. So the 10 Commandments changed from the other ones - yes God's word was edited to suit purposes - they missed a spot though. Don't forget Jesus only lists 6 Commandments of the edited 10. Now as for hell, it was invented a few hundred years after Jesus died in order to sell the whole salvation junk. There was a rubbish tip outside Jerusalem called Gehanna where criminals and poor people that couldn't afford a burial were burnt. Yes, sweety, bad people were burnt in fire. This then got combined with Hades - Greek and Roman mythology to form hell. Hell is made up, misinterpreted and sourced from elsewhere. ------------------------- When you're done reading all that and understand a little more, we'll chat about how a monotheistic God was stolen from Hindu and Zoroastrian practices and Hebrew mythology used to be a pantheon. That's why there's that whole "worship no other Gods but me" thing. Who do you think they built the fatty calf for? Yahweh was originally a storm God called El, married to Asherah with a son called Ba'al. Heard of him? --------------------------- You're being fed a load of bull sweety. Go to school, that's what it's there for. Read. Learn. There's a lot more to life than the tiny little corral you're earmarking for yourself.

old comment by ..........<3

Alright so my guess is i'm not being taken seriously...I haven't said a word about your beliefs yet you've done nothing but mock me...Ever thought that the reason i even said anything in the first place is because i do believe there is a hell and that those who aren't following christ will go there and that kinda concerns me a bit...What if your wrong and there is a christ? ask your self that and i'll stretch out on a limb and ask myself ' what if i'm wrong' well then if i'm wrong i lived a life in the hope for something more, striving to be who god called me to be and i would have died with the belief that i would go to heaven.... whats wrong with that?

old comment by HairlessMonkeyDK

..........<3 said,
I'm not going to heaven because i read my bible or anything... It's cause God gave everyone his law, we sinned, No. And that is one of the ugliest things about christianity... The vile concept of "original sin". We, mankind, collectively, -didn't- sin. Adam and Eve did... yet god is such a grade-A asshole that he punishes EVERYONE for the sin of two people. That's the same as giving everyone in the world the death-sentence because one guy killed his neighbour. Yeah, god is -such- a nice guy! Jesus was given as the perfect sacrifice, And what, exactly, -was- that sacrifice? God, Jesus and the holy spirit are ONE, right? So how did god actually "sacrifice" anything? If Jesus died on the cross, and he, god and the holy ghosty are one, then god must be dead too, right? Everyone would of had to go to hell because we didn't obey gods law, and as any good judge would do to those who break the law he would of had to, well, punish us... And how do you know people back then -didn't- obey "gods law"? Because the bible says so? That's a very bad argument, since the bible's been proven wrong time and again. since jesus paid our fine though we no longer have to go to hell, but , but by trusting in christ, and repenting our sin (which btw doesn't mean we stop sinning altogether) we have the privledge of living eternaly in heaven with our maker... See what I said above... If god, jesus and the holiday spirit are one and the same, no "sacrifice" was ever made... just a bad parlor trick Just wondering btw- what do athiests' believe happens when we die?.... Atheists don't "believe" unilaterally in any one thing. The only thing atheists have in common is disbelief in god. There are liberal atheists, conservative atheists, non-political atheists... You see, atheism isn't a religion with its own set of obscure rules and doctrines. It isn't a religion, period. It is, simply, disbelief in god, any god. As for my -own- belief, as regards what happens when we die... Well, I believe we cease to exist and that's that. Which makes our lives on this planet, the only life we've got, so vitally important. Unlike christians, muslims, jews and assorted other religions, I -don't- think we get a second chance, or are sent to heaven or hell. Which is why I think we should strive to make the world as pleasant and good as possible. In regards to prayer, God does speak and i know he is real, i've had too many coincedenses and too many answered prayers and..everything to think any differently... You ought to delve into the study of psychology, then... Because the way human beings perceive coincidences tend to filter those out that doesn't support our already established beliefs.

old comment by David D.G.

..........<3: Julian's snide manner notwithstanding, he IS taking you somewhat seriously; at least, he IS being serious with the information he's giving you. It wouldn't hurt for him to provide some specific sources, but if you're at all serious about learning the truth of the matter, YOU could well do some research and find out what he's talking about. Of course, if his sources are trash, then you can easily point this out; but when you find that the sources are truly scholarly, then you have some real problems supporting those issues of faith.
Julian: Your mocking debate manner could not be better chosen to AVOID winning someone over to your point of view! Is it any wonder why fundies don't take YOU seriously? Really, man, you can be so much better than this. This ..........<3 person is trying to be reasonable; why try to pick a fight with someone who didn't already bring one? -------------------------- A side note: Why can't people just always use pronounceable handles online? How should "..........<3" be pronounced out loud: "The fundie formerly known as prince" or something? ~David D.G.

old comment by ..........<3

So if someone rapes and kills small children, god will still allow such a person into heaven as long as he says "christ is my saviour!" ???
Once again, nice god you worship! alright i wasn't gonna say anything (i know, thats what you were hoping for) but here goes... It takes more than just believing in god to go to heaven James 2:19 says ' you beleive that there is one god, Good! Even the demons beleive that and shudder ' If someone kills/rapes someone thus sinning he would go to hell, but because of jesus if this person were to call on the lord repent (turn from his sin) And follow jesus then yes, he will be forgiven, as morally wrong as that may seem, isn't it cool to have a god who forgives even stuff like that? (NOT encourging anyone to go out and rape someone.)

old comment by HairlessMonkeyDK

..........<3 said,
"alright i wasn't gonna say anything (i know, thats what you were hoping for)" Actually, I -was- hoping you'd say something. " but here goes... It takes more than just believing in god to go to heaven James 2:19 says ' you beleive that there is one god, Good! Even the demons beleive that and shudder ' If someone kills/rapes someone thus sinning he would go to hell, but because of jesus if this person were to call on the lord repent (turn from his sin) And follow jesus then yes, he will be forgiven, as morally wrong as that may seem, isn't it cool to have a god who forgives even stuff like that? (NOT encourging anyone to go out and rape someone.) ". No. I don't consider forgiving a child-raping murderer to be especially "cool". But it isn't a surprising attitude for a god who orders genocide. It's also very telling that you didn't even attempt to answer any of my other questions, I think.

old comment by Julian

so let's see -------<3, You didn't want to mention Jesus gives a free pass to child molesters and violent rapists did you. Why is that? Are you not comfortable with that? Do you feel that's a bad position, or is it you cannot understand the meaning of forgiveness?
I know it's what you've been told, but you're also having trouble because you've been told the same people deserve a nice little shot of sodium thiopental, potassium chloride and pancuronium bromide to go sleepy bye-byes haven't you? How do you reconcile that - or do you prefer them crispy fried, Southern Style? (I've heard the cheap crappy apologetics, that wasn't the question, it's something you need to think about in your head. How do you reconcile that?) And of course you've also been told that God is the source of all morals haven't you? Atheists are amoral and ruthless killers, and if God didn't exist everyone would be ruthless killers because there'd be no reason not to be. you've heard that propaganda haven't you - you get that at least once a week at church. We're right they're wrong, they're going to burn in hell. But try applying that to reality where there's an almost negligible population of atheists in prison for violent crimes, and they're all Christian - and did not convert in jail - they were when they committed the crime. Oh my, and we also see that Christianity forgives you for that, so actually it would be safer to conclude that rapists and murderers would actually prefer there's a God wouldn't they? Think about that. Did you know that Jesus wanted to uphold Mosaic Law? Luckily they'd stopped stoning people for collecting firewood on the sabbath by then, but you shouldn't be eating bacon. Jesus didn't approve of that. A hungry guy (Peter) after Jesus died decided that would be OK. They made him Pope posthumously for it.

old comment by Crosis

you've done nothing but mock me

If you don't want to be mocked, don't say such easily mockable things.

What if your wrong and there is a christ?

Ah, Pascal's Wager. You may as well ask the same question of yourself regarding Allah, Ganesh, Odin, Zeus, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Your argument gives no reason to recommend Christianity over any of those mentioned above, and given the evidence we have the chances that the Bible gives us an accurate picture of God are zero.

And follow jesus then yes, he will be forgiven, as morally wrong as that may seem, isn't it cool to have a god who forgives even stuff like that?

If repentance was the sole issue, it would be at least a bit more understandable (though I would think there still ought to be some consequences, hence purgatory or the like). But repentance isn't the issue. You can try to be good all you like, but if all that matters to God is whether you believe in him despite the evidence, then your god is not rewarding those who do good or those who repent, but those who are tremendously gullible.

old comment by joe-bob

wow, well we've all gotten a little off topic here. But I will say that I've known a few women like this...they did stay "pure" (or their version of it) through college. They've also never had a single date, they're at least 22, and i feel very very very sorry for the majority of them. Oh, and to refute the fat comment, most of them are exceptionally hot. That said...I agree with William James, a turn of the century psychiatrist, who said that all true religious experience is a form of neurosis.
Also, to the ......<3 person i have a few things to say. 1) Haters like the assbag who keeps putting you down for defending your beliefs aren't worth it. Having an honest and open discussion with people who disagree with you can be an eye-opening experience. I hope you have many of those. 2) Keep the faith. If it helps you live a better life, act kinder to your fellow man, and keeps you happy...there are worse things in this world. 3) How do you pronounce ....<3!? Seriously, that's the one thing that irks me.

old comment by Salome

Courting is the process of selecting and attracting another for an intimate relationship such as love, sex, commitment, living together, marriage, and having children, or any combination of these. Courtship may last days, months, or even years, but some lovers skip courting altogether as in cases of love at first sight or arranged marriage.
This is the first paragraph definition in Wikipedia for courting. If you look up dating, it refers you right back to courting. Note that, please... there is no difference in the term. So you get the whole reference, here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courting Now, I can understand not wanting to be promiscuous... abstinence is nothing to be ashamed of. But yet, do you truly want to go back to the days when women did only what men told them to, where fathers arranged marriages for financial, political, or status gains? I for one do not. On another piece... Jesus was there to fulfill the Law, not uphold it. He had to uphold to fulfill, but he replaced the Law with something else... the New Covenant. To love God with whole heart, soul, mind, and body, and to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus wasn't fond of the way things were going in the temples, since they preserved man's tradition's over God's own. Hell is the common grave, for 'from dust you are and to dust you will return'. The words for grave are mistranslated, usually. And as for three-in-one... no mention of the Trinity was ever in the Bible... or else America is one huge person. You can be one in purpose, instead of one in body. And the idea of a single god came before Babylon... before Mesopotamia... since the beginning of time. And I'm getting far off topic myself... but I do love good conversations about things, discussions, not rants and raves. If you want to discuss, feel free... but raving gets you nothing. Just think on this hon... do you really think God has the need to detail our lives for us? Free will is the choice to serve God or not, to walk in his way or not. He has no grand plan for each individual... just a plan for mankind. Get to know someone first, because there are so many pitfalls. And don't think that holding hands constitutes a sin... there are other things that need be worried about.

old comment by szenah

Abstinence pledge not a guarantee
Teenagers who take virginity pledges -- public declarations to abstain from sex -- are almost as likely to be infected with a sexually transmitted disease as those who never made the pledge, an eight-year study released yesterday found. Although young people who sign a virginity pledge delay the initiation of sexual activity, marry at younger ages and have fewer sexual partners, they are also less likely to use condoms and more likely to experiment with oral and anal sex, said the researchers from Yale and Columbia universities. "The sad story is that kids who are trying to preserve their technical virginity are, in some cases, engaging in much riskier behavior," said lead author Peter S. Bearman, a professor at Columbia's Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy. "From a public health point of view, an abstinence movement that encourages no vaginal sex may inadvertently encourage other forms of alternative sex that are at higher risk of STDs."

old comment by Niali

Folks, the "future husband" thing that ....<3 put up isn't all that ridiculous. It is possible (in fact, automatic) for an omniscient being to know what you're going to do, without having forced you to do it. He would know the outcome of your decisions, but they'd still be your decisions. A God who is also omnipotent could direct what those decisions are going to be, but doesn't have to. He could just let you make your own choices. So when a young woman prays and asks God to keep her future husband safe, God would know exactly who she was referring to even though she doesn't.
If you buy the existence of an omniscient, omnipotent God, the rest of that isn't silly at all -- it's an extension of common sense, from that premise.

old comment by Niali

Bluegrass will probably never read this, but I'll type it out here anyway because if I put it on T4C it'd get deleted and everyone anywhere near it would get banned.
Bluegrass: I'm a Christian male, I'm perfectly capable of waiting for anything physical until marriage, and I'm not afraid of your parents. You could get to know me there because I'm strong enough not to have to act like someone else in front of them. I'd never hurt you on purpose, I'd make an excellent father, and everyone who knows me says I'm one of the most attractive men they know. I'm the perfect guy from your perspective. But your life isn't yours to run, or any of the decisions yours to make, so I don't want you. Do you see the problem with your plan?

old comment by Turandot

This courtship ritual that Bluegrass_Girl gushes over is nothing more than Islam-lite without the burqa.
I am all for a young girl/woman controlling her own destiny and safeguarding herself from becoming involved in a sexual relationship before she is emotionally ready but this scenario demeans and infantilizes a girl. If Bluegrass_Girl is palmed off from one man who has complete dominion over her (her father) to another (her husband), how is she ever going to grow up, face challenges, solve problems and stand on her own two feet? Bluegrass_girl seems to subscribe to the old saying that a woman should only leave the house on three occasions in her life: When she is christened, married and buried. *** SHUDDER *** I predict Bluegrass_Girl is married at age 17, has 3 kids by age 22 and is living a miserable, dead-end existence in a trailer where the pick-up truck is chronically broken.

old comment by clockworkgirl21

Me and my parents have decided that I will not date.

My parents would love if I dated. It'd get me out of the house. Plus, there's the fact that I'm nearly 20 and have never dated or even kissed anyone.

We believe in courting. Dating leads to foolish things.

Like kissing? Oh, noes! Not kissing!

y courting, I mean the young man participating in outings with my family and such. Very safe places!

I'd be pissed if I had to go to dinner with my parents, my sister, and her damn BOYFRIEND. Spend time together in private, please. It makes me sick to see my little sister kissing on someone.

I have decided to fully give my heart to my dad

Eww.

He will be the authorty over me until my wedding day.

Well, I guess it's up to you...

I (with God's help) hope never to even hold hands with my future husband until my wedding day. I wear a purity ring to remind me of that daily. One day, my purity ring will be molded into my future husbands wedding band as a sign that I am fully giving my heart to him. And that is my whole heart, not a broken heart that I have waisted on other guys.

What if it turns out the guy's gay?

Bluegrass_Girl #fundie teens-4-christ.org

176 comments

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