"I was sitting at a red light,the light had just turned red,and I looked up at the beautiful sky,the clouds were absolutely beautiful ,and I started thinking about what it will be like the day we're caught up in the clouds to meet Jesus,and I was just talking to Jesus about how I cannot wait to finally see Him and be with Him,and I started wondering whether or not we would hear the trumpet,and I was wondering what it would sound like... and all of a sudden I heard this very loud car horn(the light had turned green),and I just about jumped out of my seat!
I realized,as I started driving again that maybe Jesus was showing me just how sudden and unexpected it will be,just like the car horn that,unexpectedly jolted me back to attention,so will the moment when He calls us up to meet Him in the clouds. I felt that day,that Jesus let me see that He too has a sense of humor,but at the same time can use it to teach us things."
A reply from JesusLover_2002:
65 comments
No, see, that was Jesus in the car behind you, telling you to quit talking to sky fairies and F****IN DRIVE!
Damn. And I thought he was going to attribute the red light changing to a green light to god, kind of like this:"... and then as I was staring longingly into Jesus' non-existent eyes in the sky, the red light turned green, like water into wine... and i knew it could only be Jesus directing the traffic signals, giving me the green light to heaven."
Oh well... this one was a disappointment.
Ah, you want to die in a dream, not screaming and cursing like the people killed in the car you head-on while you are thinking your Holy thoughts. If "God is your co-pilot", he might want to get out and walk.
Maybe the guy behind you was just pissed that you were sitting there daydreaming, and not paying attention to the goddamned road. I suppose it's only lucky you didn't wind drifting into the middle of the intersection while you were having your sappy little fantasy. Believe in Jesus all you want, but when you're behind the wheel then fucking pay attention to the road.
Fundies are incredibly narcissistic; they really think that everything that happens around them is all manipulated to happen as it does by THEIR god for THEIR benefit, sending coded messages for them to interpret.
The God of a universe so vast we cannot comprehend it looks in one particular galaxy among many to one star among many to one planet among many to one person among billions sitting in his car, reaches out, and makes sure that another impatient driver blows his horn at that exact moment to give that first dude a minor religious revelation (instead of the realization that he should kind of be paying attention at traffic lights).
Save some commas for us non-believers too!
I'm an atheist, and that doesn't happen to me. Not because jesus was actually honking at you, but I don't sit daydreaming about stupid shit when I'm behind the wheel.image
Dear His Child,
So I was eating a calzone yesterday after watching an Ibsen play with some classmates and teachers (school stuff) and not really thinking about how hot it'd be. I sink my teeth into it and surprise, surprise, get burned."If you look for signs, you see them all the time" --Nemi Montoya, among others.
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Nah, it couldn't have just been a completely mundane driver behind you, pissed because the idiot in front of him was staring at the sky instead of paying attention to the traffic light.
There was a story about a little old lady with a bumper sticker that read 'Honk if you love Jesus'....
It reminds me of an episode of "Six Feet Under"
A load of helium filled sex dolls was accidentally released from a truck. They came floating over a building.
A fundie saw them and jumped out of her car to be raptured. She was promptly run over and killed.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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