"So how did the penguins make their way to the Middle East?"
70 comments
So the animals had to live not just the year on the ark but also survive the round the world trip that picked them up (and drop them off again?).
I can just imagine him in the Artic with a huge net trying to catch polar bears.
ETA: Read Garvan's Blog:
http://garvanellison.blogspot.com/
Especially the song for Sarah
So Noah managed the first circumnviagation of the earth AND collected a sample of every single species on Earth, thats millions and growing every day, without anyone mentioning it? And YECs wonder why their treated like children.
*facepalm*
Honestly, garvan ellison, the only thing you should use Occam's Razor for, would be to slit your own throat!
The Bible says that God brought that animals to the ark. Obviously crap. The Noah story says nothing of the ark moving before it was floated by the flood. Remember, Noah didn't have a drydock facility in which to build his scow.
Equally crappish is that said penguins had to get themselves FROM Mt. Ararat to the antarctic.
Gen 6:20- ...two of every sort shall come unto thee...
Gen 7:9- There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark...
Gen 7:13-15- In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark; They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort. And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.
Gen 7:13-14 clearly states that they all boarded the Ark in one day. Beat that, America's Cup! Or maybe it's just, you know, a fairy tale.
I mean, please do at least bother to know what you're defending!
No, garvan, the Bible clearly states that Noah gathered animals, but NOT by sailing to get them. To begin with, the ark had no sails. Do NOT assume it must have - Noah wasn't instructed to make sails, and Noah is cited as doing only what God told him to do.
The Bible also clearly states that once the animals and Noah and family were inside the ark, God shut the doors of the ark in advance of the flood. Who shut the doors before that? Why would God have to shut the doors then, but not before?
Man, you fundies just make up all kinds of stupid crap.
"but the Bible says no such thing"
No, it doesn't. It says all the animals came to Noah, then Noah went in the ark, then it was raining, then Noah went in the ark, then God sealed them in, then the rest happened.
This journey should be the basis of a hilarious fundie movie, starring Jack Black as Noah and sailing around the world like some kind of reverse-Santa Claus.
And also, the animals can talk. How awesome would that be?
Oh bloody hell, he's in my country!!!
His blog sounds as though he's a mildly retarded eight-year-old spoiled brat...
"YAWN. Last night Raj was extremely boring. All he wanted to talk about was golf and his fancy job. He was not in the least bit interested in me or in joining in my conversation about the problems currently facing India. I left his house about midnight, and could not resist the opportunity to play a prank. I went to my garage and from there I took:
One garden trowel;
Then I sneaked back over to Raj's garden and, using the trowel, I dug a small hole, right in the middle of his front lawn! Then, in the hole, I placed the bamboo cane. To the top of the bamboo cane, I did tie the soiled rag. So now.... IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS A GOLF HOLE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FRONT GARDEN!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
This is the best prank I have executed in ages."
Please tell me he's not British...
Or that he's a poe/troll, that would do.
Wow. I've read in the fundie tome "The ANSWERS Book" about how the animals might have used log "rafts" to get to other continents. But this is a new one on me.
I guess the fundies aren't comparing notes enough.
@Joules - he's from N.Ireland, I'm afraid
He really does believe this stuff. I always feel torn between laughing at him and feeling sorry for him. He's suffered(ing) from serious mental illness, but decided modern medicine is worthless and that he was actually possessed by demons. I'm surprised his blog is back, given what he was up to in Aug and Sep I half expected him to be in prison or sectioned. Just hope he can get better without intervention.
It is much more likely that Noah and his sons sailed around collecting animals from all the different continents before the flood waters rose.
- What kind of motorisation did the ark have> If not, theymust shurely have missed some. Meanwhile they left all of the people to drown. What shites they were.
It is much more likely that Noah and his sons sailed around collecting animals from all the different continents before the flood waters rose
To quote the idiot fundie, Garvin Ellison, "the Bible says no such thing". Actually the whole Noah story is a hodgepodge that appears to have been built by combining two similar but not identical versions. Did the animals board on the day the flood started, or seven days before? Did Noah take two of each, or seven of the clean and two of the unclean? Did the flood last 40 days or 150 days?
How to tell people what the Bible says:
Step 1: Read the Bible.
Please don't muddle the order of these.
Wait so the flood waters rose enough so noah could get the ark over to the ocean, but then they rose slowly enough that he had time to do a trip around the world (aparantly without sails or any means of propulsion) before all the animals drowned? Is this person really suggesting that a desert dwelling goat hearder was able to build a ship and sail it around the world twice? Really?
Actually, it's far more likely that it never happened at all.
And Pokemon is evil, don't you know that?
But that contradicts your bible, Noah was a desert dweller , and it claims the ark was high up on the hill, and was only set afloat by that great flood you hold so much stock into.
/facepalm.....
Fundie, if I recall my bible correctly, the Ark started on dry land and didn't float until AFTER the waters started rising....according to that excellent work of fiction you allegedly use to guide your life.
[It is much more likely that Noah and his sons sailed around collecting animals from all the different continents before the flood waters rose. ]
You are wrong because the bible doesn't say that.
What's striking to me is that we're seeing more and more fundies making claims about what the Bible does and does not say, and they're just making it up. Of course the Bible says that the animals came to Noah. I thought reading the Bible was of the utmost importance to fundies. They don't even need that anymore? They can just make this up as they go along? That's scary, or just even more annoying than usual.
How'd they drag that ark across the middle east, Europe/Africa (I'm assuming pangea doesn't exist at ANY point in the 6,000 year history of a fundie), to the nearest ocean, and then proceeded to travel the globe? Yeah... sounds simple...
isnt it simply funny when fundies attack something they know nothing about?
well, isnt it funnier when they defend their main argument without even knowing it?
@Laughin Man: dont you mean garvan ellison?
It's almost sad, how desperate these fundies are about clinging to their fairy stories. They realize that the stories as presejnted in their "inerrant" Bible don't make sense, but rather than facing the reality that it's all bogus, they make up shit like this to try to make it sound more reasonable (and almost always end up making it sound more ridiculous). Anything to avoid giving up their illusions.
You see, If you didn't believe in such stupid shit you wouldn't have to keep coming up with such stupid explanations
So what? the 5 year old would ask, there's definate mention of the ark ending up on a mountain as the water recedes, How'd them animals get home?
I'm waiting for that new Fundie Bible so they can add what they think makes sense now, and bullox it up even more! Honestly. I think some Bronze-age sheephearders were smarter than these guys
Even tough the book itself says the animals all eneterd the ark on the same day?
Plus, after the flood, how did everything get home?
My job of over 56 years is translating the ORIGINAL texts.
The Bible does say so. The Bible states that all animals came walking and entered the arch by pairs.
Repent, heretic, or burn in hell.
Hey, that's your religion, not mine, don't give me the bad eye.
And then Noah found a way for penguins, anacondas and giraffes to all survive in the same environment.
Uh-huh.
It doesn't require Occam's Razor to slash Garvan's post to shreds. A soggy piece of cardboard will do the job.
Sailed around? For how long? At work, we ship containers with our merchandise from Gothenburg, Sweden to (among other places) Auckland, New Zeeland. That takes almost two months, with the larges and most modern container ships in the world. How long do you think it took to sail there two thousand years ago? Besides, the people in the Middle East at that time didn't know about the existence of the Americas, Oceania, the Arctics or Antarctica. "All the different continents" at that time, were Africa, Asia and Europe.
This is a mistake fundie Christian often make; forget to read the Bible for themselves and just take for granted what their Pastor says.
Um, Genesis 6:20 says 'the animals will come to you.'
So, when you say "but the Bible says no such thing" you're not exactly, you know, anywhere close to correct.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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