So-called “deconversion stories” is like listening to a criminal justify himself. Criminals have many reasons for the things they do and many explanations for why it is really somebody else’s fault. With all sincerity they tell their sad stories and absolutely none of it is true – they are just blind and self-deluded. If you follow them you are wicked because you are lying against the Creator. Most “atheists” are men – a woman usually has more sense because she has a womb and understands intuitively that the only life brings life. A moron atheist things a space gave birth to a rock that gave birth to people. The absurdity of it not only denies God, it denies life itself and equates dead inanimate objects with living things. Women also understand intuitively that we are not independent – every child needs to be nursed and nurtured. Atheist dummies imagine man has no need of nurture and blessing from God. You have a soul and a spirit and you need God. You have fallen into a tough time of doubt, but God is still God. He doesn’t need to explain himself to you (Job 33:13), you simply need to make a decision that you will just trust him – you know you can do that because he loves you and died to save you. That’s called faith, and that’s your job. Being God is his job.