First, masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act
that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other
forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual
way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on
homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned
on by his own male body.
(PG: 24)
[Pastor Mark Driscoll's explanation of why Ted Haggard used crystal meth and had sex with a gay prostitute: his wife was too fat to satisfy him sexually!]
Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors' wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband's sin, but she may not be helping him either.