My duffel bags had barely touched the dorm room floor when two tennis teammates-to-be barged through the door with pitchers of beer in hand. It may have been the middle of the afternoon, but the party had already started. Girls and guys roamed the co-ed dorm, checking out their new surroundings. Classes started the next day, and I kid you not, I had neither pen nor paper. The first assignment in Great Works of Western Culture, a required freshman class, was to read the books of Genesis and Job. “Easy enough,” I thought, since I came from a Christian background and was familiar with the Bible. Imagine my disbelief when the professor and other students ridiculed the Bible and mocked God for the “stupid” way He dealt with mankind. I had never heard “"God” and “stupid” in the same sentence before! I was so stunned; I didn’t know what to say.
The night life was just as shocking. It was as if all moral restraint had been lifted from the campus. Drunkenness and sexual activity were seemingly everywhere. The overall scene brought to mind images of wanton sailors coming ashore at a foreign port of call. Surely this wasn't Stanford—it was Sodom!
Why was I so surprised by my introduction to college? After all, I had heard what college was like. I had already seen and experienced a taste of campus life on college recruiting visits. I was no potted plant—I had been out of my own backyard plenty of times.
But this was different—way different. I was now living full-time in the midst of a world diametrically opposed to the one I had grown up in—there would be no returning home to Mommy and Daddy every night. I would soon find out that an excellent upbringing coupled with academic and athletic success was no match for the maelstrom called college. The waters were baited, the sharks were circling—spiritual shipwreck loomed.
77 comments
I think you need some perspective.
1. Questioning creation stories is not calling them "stupid", although you might have thought that.
2. One guy wandering the hall one night with a beer is not "Everyone was drinking".
3. A couple making out is not "There was sex everywhere".
I went to a university notorious for being the party school in Canada. I had friends in what was considered to be the wildest dorm. I saw little of this, especially in the first semester. Everyone was too freaked out for that. So I'm gonna go ahead and call "bullshit" on your whole story. Sorry.
"Imagine my disbelief when the professor and other students ridiculed the Bible and mocked God for the “stupid” way He dealt with mankind." Well, alright. How did you react to this? Did you listen to their analysis? Did you think about what they said, and attempt to figure out how they'd be wrong?
No, you didn't. Instead, you rejected it out of hand and acted outraged towards this. Learn to listen, or you'll be out of there pretty quick.
. It was as if all moral restraint had been lifted from the campus. Drunkenness and sexual activity were seemingly everywhere. The overall scene brought to mind images of wanton sailors coming ashore at a foreign port of call.
Crap, I've been going to the wrong uni.
"I was no potted plantI had been out of my own backyard plenty of times."
No way! Your parents actually allowed you to leave the backyard? Dear gawd, what is this world coming to? You'll burn, baby. Oh yes, you will burn.
Made up shit by someone who probably never set foot in a college.
Why the fuck didnt you turn up with pen and paper you selfish, overly-cosseted twat-faced dirtbag.
"AHH! People learning to drink and have fun! AHH! People critically thinking about ancient stories! AHH! People having relationships and learning to deal with their sexuality! NOOOOOOES!"
@ Atheist in a Foxhole - Maybe because he forgot it in his backyard because he was too busy salivating over the thought of being 'the only beacon of truth in an evil, immoral college'. :P
The first assignment in Great Works of Western Culture, a required freshman class, was to read the books of Genesis and Job.
What is this bullshit? The old testament is not fucking western culture!
David Wheaton did go to Stanford in 1988 (check him out on Wiki he was also a Pro tennis player at one point) so even if this did happen ,which I very much doubt ,then it can hardly be said to be a good description of college life today.
Having said that it hardly appears to have been a modern Sodom if one of the "terrible" things he saw was
Girls and guys roamed the co-ed dorm, checking out their new surroundings.
The waters were baited, the sharks were circling
That´s because they can smell creationist meat in the air.
Who packs a duffel bag anymore? Get one of those wheeled suitcases with the collapsible handle, much easier on the shoulder. Other than that problem the rest of your drama would have resolved itself. The first day on campus is a throw-away day. Find your dorm, meet your roommates, meet your RA, get your meal-plan, etc. And yes some of the older returning students are bound to throw a shin-dig or two. This casual attitude will typically last until the students start to have their first series of exams and begin to realize "holy shit! I had better study."
I bet you're just a barrel of laughs, huh?
Relax, wiener, most people act like morons in college cause for most of them its the first time they've truly been away from home. They tend to calm down once they're out.
"The night life was just as shocking. It was as if all moral restraint had been lifted from the campus. Drunkenness and sexual activity were seemingly everywhere. The overall scene brought to mind images of wanton sailors coming ashore at a foreign port of call. Surely this wasn't Stanfordit was Sodom!"
People drinking and having sex? At collage!? No!
Uni was the best time of my life. I was surprised to find it exactly as I'd been told it was like. If you're uptight you won't survive. It's always been a somewhat chaotic environment (there are tales of students getting drunk and playing ridiculous pranks dating back to the 14th century!) because it's natural behaviour for young men and women away from home for the first time. I'm a firm believer in the idea that if you didn't enjoy your time at uni (*not* necessarily by drinking and behaving like a moron, but in whatever way makes you happy) then you've wasted your time.
I knew y'all would enjoy this one!
@ BobMalarky: I saw kids calming down when they were in danger of flunking out, too.
@ Lucretius: Good research!
@ Zipperback: I laughed far too long at that! I can't improve on it.
Going to college in USA sounds like going to high school back home. But then again, we could legally drink years before Americans can, so our party time is mostly in the ages 15-19.
Heck, I traveled on Interrail the three summer vacations while I was in high school, i. e while being 15-17 and basically partied my way around Europe. American kids miss out on too much and is probably why US colleges sounds like high school.
I go to a boring college in the middle of nowhere, so yes, a lot of people spend their free time drinking. Just find a group of friends who don't. There ARE people who don't like the drunken frat party aspect of college.
And on the other point, the funniest thing that happened in English was when my prof. had us read the first two chapters of Genesis and then asked "Was Adam the biggest moron ever?" You were in a Works of Western Culture class, not a Kiss the
Bible's Butt class.
That brings back such fond memories of my student days...
@Brain_In_A_Jar: "The old testament is not fucking western culture!"
But the OT is doing its best to fuck with Western culture.
Haha he would hate to live in my flat at uni. Yes we have flats not dorms. between 10 people we had 15 over crates of beer and a number of other drinks. As for sex, I give you a pornstar pub crawl.
Note: I live in the UK so drinking is legal here.
However most of this sounds a bit like my highschool parties, very tame.
Actually, come to think of it, a knowledge of the bible (which is not, I want to be clear, to say belief in it) is still pretty relevant to western culture; while the text itself originates in the middle east, western thought was totally dominated by it until only a few centuries ago.
I'd be royally pissed if I took a course on the "Great Works of Western Culture" and was told to read the bible.
Who the hell goes to the first day of class without at least a pen and paper? Most are going with laptops in this day and age.
I think you've watched "Animal House" one too many times.
This is the problem with homeschooling: sheltered children who have no experience of people who are different from them, no exposure to alternate view, and no courage in their convictions. A child who has grown up to believe, on some level, that everyone else believes as they do cannot handle the reality when they find that this is not the case, and they are not prepared to defend their beliefs or their position against the alternate opinions they didn't know existed. and excellent upbringing could allow you to cope with college: however that is not what you got. You were unduly protected from reality, and as such you were sent off to college with the intellectual and physical development of an adult, and the spiritual and emotional maturity, not to mention ignorance, of a five-year-old.
The waters were baited, the sharks were circling
spiritual shipwreck loomed.
And I didn't get an invitation.
FUCK!
Genesis and Job? Goes from "boring until you start doing a textual analysis and comparing it to Sumerian and Babylonian creation myths" (after which...dude, Genesis is fabulous for studying, especially given how much it pisses off the fundies) to "one of the most fucking depressing texts ever written in any language". At least in my world-lit classes (in the Comparative Literature department, which should have been the Stanford approach -- their Comp Lit is actually pretty badass) we covered the Book of Esther (or Ishtar...heh), which has the scheming and the massive bloodbath and never tried to pass itself off as anything other than historical fiction. (...and then we went on to Zhuangzi, who is probably the best teacher of "how to piss off uptight fundies" ever .)
I had never heard “"God” and “stupid” in the same sentence before!
Obviously you hadn't accessed the internet before this. Actually, depending on your age, that would be believable.
Seriously, though, get over yourself.
With beads of sweat glistening upon my furrowed brow, I found myself huddled beneath my standard-edition dorm room bed, my only beacon of light in this darkened, domestic cavern coming from the screen of my laptop computer. I knew it was only a matter of time before they would come for me.
I gathered together my last ounce of strength, navigating my way through the tangled web of the internet to my only sanctuary in this cold world -- the Code Blue Rally website. Pop up ads for pornographic websites stood in my way, but I pressed on heroically. They couldn't hold me back. Not now. Not after everything I'd seen. I had but one mission: To get my message out to the world.
Never would I have thought that I'd be typing out my own obituary, but here I was, fingers dancing across the keyboard like pudgy little ballerinas. My final words to this world... solidified in black and white Times New Roman typeface.
No sooner had I pounded out that last punctuation mark than my door burst open, and the beast came for me. I shook violently, soiling myself in horror, but was too frightened to notice the indiscretion as he cried his awful song, beckoning me into his world with his words:
"Hey David, wanna do a keg stand!?"
This is about as fascinating as reading your 23rd Jack Chick tract. If people are so afraid of going to accredited universities, they deserve whatever jobs they get. As time goes on, that's not gonna be a hell of a lot.
Society's in "code blue" huh?
How's it "code blue" when the "unhealthy" society is in fact progressing, not dying?
(Well, as far as views on issues like homosexuality, biblical inerrancy, and religious intolerance. I'm sure there's other issues these guys have good points on.)
If you had a different point of view, you should have defended and debated it with intelligent arguments- not simple attacks. That's what critical thinking is all about, and one of the things most of us get out of a college education.
One wonders why 2 books from the buybull would be a first assignment in Great Works of WESTERN Culture, in the first place? I'd have thought Shakespeare, Pepys, Bacon, Twain, Lincoln, Whitman and many others would be far more appropriate.
*GASP* FUN?!
YOU NEED TO LEAVE, NOW!!
DAMNATION AWAITS!!
"My duffel bags had barely touched the dorm room floor" tl;dr...
..."The waters were baited, the sharks were circling
spiritual shipwreck loomed."
Cool story, bro.
@Zimmer
"Have fun being a creationist in college."
Don't be surprised if ol' Davey-boy here has dropped out of this accredited educational establishment and headed for, say, Patriot Bible University. Because, if this is what he faced when his 'duffel bags had barely touched the dorm room floor', he wouldn't have lasted five seconds there; pledging, 'hazing', keggers etc...
...but it would've been fun to see him 'corrupted', as it were, and him ending up a Bluto Blutarsky-esque booze-hound & drug-fuelled party animal; later becoming a US senator, then ultimately president.
Like, say, a certain George W. Bush...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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