He can't come to power yet.
Indeed, I don't think even satan knows who the AC will be. Sure satan has his favorite candidates in protected positions, BUT satan has no idea of the hour of Christ's return. Nor is satan omniscient.
People-even satan's candidates for AC-do unpredictable things, They could die at any time, or worse...get saved. The best satan can do is keep a few favorite candidates in mind.
So when satan gets tossed out of heaven for the last time, the rapture occurs, and the Holy Spirit removes the restraint on evil, satan will know the jig is up. He will head for the nearest surviving candidate (I'm expecting chaos following the rapture), and posses him. Wala: the AC is on the scene.
I cannot believe that the AC is a creepy kid groomed for evil all his life like in the movies. That would mean that satan knows something even Jesus doesn't know, the hour of his return.
Does that make sense?
56 comments
ID82 is correct. It doesn't make sense.
And it's Voila! not Wala. French, you see.
And it disturbs me that you think Satan stays in heaven. Doesn't that give you fundies a chance to sneak into the place and turn on the AC?
If Jesus doesn't know the hour of his return but Satan does, are you sure you're worshiping the correct imaginary deity?
I worry for you, Mann. My kind of people don't bother with this stuff, but, you... you've staked whatever form of immortality you seek on this "rapture" thing. What if you're wrong and had been a blind deluded idiot all your life? What then?
I'm gunna go out on a limb and guess you mean "sense" in the RR sense of the word.
In which case, I'd say, yeah, that's perfectly logical in the context of your fairy world of bullshit, magic, and supernatural soap operas.
Of course, here on Earth with real people....not so much.
Isn't this type of talk enough to get you banned over at RR?
- Satan has a favourite candidate? Does he vote?
- Satan is in heaven?
- You believe the Omen was someone actually trying to say who the Antichrist is?
- If Jesus is God, how does he not know when he will return?
"So when satan gets tossed out of heaven for the last time"
I didn't know he'd managed to get back in, or is he on some sort of chaingang doing god's lawns up.
AND:
"Wala: the AC is on the scene."
Wala?!?!?!! For the sake of your sacrificed Christ, please don't try to be sophisticated - I nearly choked on my croissant!
PS GOD (= CHRIST) is omniscient according to you lot. He knows everything. The moment he though about the creation, he knew about the fall, and everything else that happens, including damning a few billion souls to eternal pain. The fact that he then chose to go ahead anyway just shows that he is masculine - go ahead just to show off rather than take the "feminine" soft way of infinite love and pity, and choose not to be an arsehole
First: its "viola" minus the funky character that I can't type, not "wala." God damn, I don't even speak French and I know better than that.
Second, someone needs to turn off the TV and stop watching the constant election coverage. He is seriously making this sound like the anti-Christ is running for election to the position.
"If Jesus is God, how does he not know when he will return?"
Well God can do ANYTHING. Including not knowing what God is going to do.
I'm just not sure what the constant references to air conditioning are all about.
>So when satan gets tossed out of heaven for the last time
So Satan is in Heaven now ?
Who the fuck is taking care of the lake of fire then ???
I bet they've got a huge backlog in sinners to fry, broil and barbeque right now ... I guess you'll have to wait a bit when it becomes your turn then
"Does that make sense?"
no
"Wala:"
IT'S VOILA YOU AMERICAN BASTARDS
IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING PRONOUNCED WALLA
IT'S PRONOUNCED VWALLA AND IT'S SPELLED VOILA!!
AAAAAAAAAAA
You will obviously go to great lengths to try to convince people that your own ideas are biblical fact. Where does the bible say anything even remotely close to what you said? Revelations is a jumble of messes, and I've read it several times and never come across the ideas you just expressed.
Are you claiming to know something Jesus doesn't, or God doesn't, about Satan?
What "hour of his return"? The Bible says the Antichrist is already here and we are already in the end times: "Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that Antichrist shall come, even now are there many Antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time." (1 John 2:18) Unfortunately, this was written in the first century AD. John was a little off.
And wala, teh debl makes a rondyvoo at the cafay, nespaw, monsewer? I have prufe the AC is in DC, per say driving a sheverlay with AC.
With so many elected presidents around the world, of so many political parties and tendencies and with so many agendae, you sound egocentric and pretentious, to say the least.
And wala, teh debl makes a rondyvoo at the cafay, nespaw, monsewer? I have prufe the AC is in DC, per say driving a sheverlay with AC.
Mercy bucket.
So, wait, Satan is in heaven now, because he's going to get thrown out "for the last time"? Any place that's had any evil mark on it can not be considered perfect; at least that's what I've gathered from most Christians. I'm confused.
Finding out who both Christ and the Anti-Christ are is vitally important to the future of our species. I propose a series of Christ/Anti-Christ reactors; small controlled pieces of both Christ and Anti-Christ being mixed together to produce vast amounts of energy with minimal carbon involved.
However, if it turns out that the AC is a literal negative energy phenomena, as can occur in quantum mechanics, then the two of them would just cancel to 0 leaving us with no actual power, but still better off in the long run. But the former is more likely, given all the "he will come to power" prophecies.
VINCENT: "Am I the only who thought he/she was rambling about air-conditioning?"
I, too, thought at first that he was going on about Satan's plan to furnish hell with climate control. Which would make sense, sort of, seeing as how Satan takes care of his people while that god character doesn't really do a damn thing for his suck-ups.
Once again, fundies who seem to know the mind of satan and why he does what he does. Of course, they cannot tell you why god likes to kill babies, but they know intimate details about satan's evil plans.
This satan intimacy intrigues me.
Roger Ebert wrote an article about how many folks criticized his review of the 2006 remake of The Omen because Ebert failed to point out how it did not correspond accurately to the Book of Revelation. His answer was basically, "I'm a film critic, not a theologian or Biblical scholar!" He thought it was an OK horror film, and that's all he cared about.
I send posts like this to my college roommate, now Lutheran minister, because I like hearing her rage at the heretical idiocy over the phone. But I think I won't send this one; she might blow a blood vessel, and I don't want to be cruel.
@ werewolf
Hoder damn it, you beat Suvorov to it. Suvorov hates it when stupid Americans fuck up the beautiful French language -- although, now Suvorov thinks of it, that may have been deliberate. After all, if this idiot had correctly spelled a French word, he might have become a homosexual, since France is where teh ghey comes from.
@ Brain_In_A_Jar
Tight lemons knows it's spelled "mercy buckets", man. Oh revver!
Nope, it makes no sense, whatsoever.
Particularly not your "spelling" of "voila".
Wasn't Jesus scheduled to return within the lifetime of some of his disciples?
Short answer, No.
Long answer, Fuck No!
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me,,,,
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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