(Big Jesus FTW!)
If you're worried about your wicked behavior being watched by a camera by the police department, let me tell you there is a bigger camera that is watching all of your wicked behavior. It's call the Lord God Jesus Christ. And he sees everything. So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways, stop picking up whores in cheap bars and stop shoving long objects up your under-hole. Yes, God is watching, don't be afraid of Big Brother, because Big Jesus is watching and you will be swimming in a molting lake of fire if you don't hand over your life to Jesus, libtards. I'm praying for you, it's probably a lost cause, but I'm earning points with Jesus.
50 comments
Sorry, Maxine, you're talking about Santa.
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good...
Rubbing yourself in unholy ways? Are you trying to write erotic fiction?
And it's quite obvious by your last comment that you don't actually care about or love the people you're condemning. You're just praying to get Jesus on your good side. Guess what. Jesus doesn't like that. You're as damned as the rest of us.
Only Catholic priests rub in unholy ways.
True story: The girl I lost my virginity to was catholic. After we had sex the first time (my first, not hers, incidentally) she cried and said, quote "we did that in front of god."
Talk about pressure.
So you're praying for me, not out of kindness or concern, but to save your own sorry hide from eternal damnation? What just and righteous god would reward such spineless pandering over genuine love and charity?
You make jesus sound like a pervert or a peeping tom. Watching me shower and take a crap. WTF man?
"stop shoving long objects up your under-hole."
I couldn't stop laughing after I read that.
So basically what this fundies telling us is that the Son of the Almighty .Was spying on me while I was masturbating and he been doing so since I was 11 .Sounds kind of perverted to me ..
SO Jesus Clause is coming to town ,.He taken some pics,And checking them twice he is gong to find whos been naughty and Nice
WTF is a under hole Is that my ass Are you calling a ass a under hole .I nver hear of that one b4 .
The Under hole I never hear it called that B4 Did you mean say thunder hole I get that one .But not the under hole .
Be careful about not living righteously merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven (Matthew 6:1).
Fight Fire and Brimstone preaching with Fire and Brimstone preaching.
What would Jesus say????
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What if I have no "wicked" behavior to give up?
How can I stop doing any of those things if I'm not doing them in the first place???
See, this is where the claims of the religious right - that liberals and atheists, etc - have no morals, fall on its face. To these people, there is no reason to be a good person unless someone is going to punish you for it. It's completely irrational and selfish a belief, but unfortunately people have to think like this.
And surely Jesus is coming with a brigade to arrest him and say, "don't be a bad guy............". Now, honestly, what do they care?. For once, they may not believe in God. And second, what if they do?. Like 2/3 of humankind are not going to Heaven anyway because they don't accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour, according to your doctrine. You can be the most decent guy in the world and it doesn't matter. So, why not having sex out of the boundaries of marriage, if they're not going to Heaven anyway?
[i[So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways
What would Jesus beat off too?
Oh, and what is the holy way to rub yourself? The public need to know!
Lex Kitten wrote:
"S[p]eaking from experience, Maxine? Did "Big Jesus" catch you "rubbing yourself in unholy ways"? You seem to know an awful lot about it..." Darn it, Lex Kitten, you beat me to it!
"I'm praying for you, it's probably a lost cause, but I'm earning points with Jesus."
ooh! ooh! can you exchange your jesus points for a cool jesus branded set of walkie talkies or other prizes?
SO not only are you showing your god to be the biggest (as it where) voyeur ever, you are also admitting that you only care for people for your own ends, to increase your chance of getting into heaven. Wow, this really makes me want to convert...
"I'm praying for you, it's probably a lost cause, but I'm earning points with Jesus."
So Jesus rewards insincerity like yours? You need to read up a bit about the fellow you claim to worship. I am sure it will be interesting for you to read the gospels as its pretty clear you have never done so.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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