Parents With Inconvenient Truths About Trans #transphobia #fundie pittparents.com
How do you love a son who continues to refer to himself as your daughter?
After almost no contact from our son for about three years, he recently reached out to my husband. He misses his family and he’s asking us again to affirm him so we can have some kind of relationship. It sounds like relationship at any cost, our cost, not his. His terms. Only his terms. He asks why we can’t belong to one of those churches who affirm trans people. (Because we cannot worship a false god, my son.)
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Could I have lunch with him while looking at the harm he’s done to himself and manage to behave normally, choke back tears, eat one bite? Could I listen to his fake feminine voice when I remember so well the musical bass voice that could sing beautifully and mimic accents that kept me laughing for hours? Is that love….sitting across the table, policing my speech, hiding my heartbreak? Is there a way to love a son who is desperate for relationship yet will not concede that he’ll never be a woman? Is there a way to have a conversation with my son without fearing legal consequences because I used the name we gave him and the matching pronouns?
What does love look like? Currently, love doesn’t look like a visit home as we cannot risk his attempts at discipling his younger brothers or his niece in his new religion.